Forgotten
by Lola Kristy
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru are in a car crash. When Kaoru finally wakes up from his coma, Hikaru is gone from both his memory and his life. A battle between mind, love and family. Will he ever remember? Hika/Kao. Fluff, angst, a little dark.
1. Separation

**The Full Summary:** _Hikaru and Kaoru are in a car crash riding home from school one night. Before Kaoru can awaken from his coma, files are signed and his twin is declared dead. The bed is emptied. However, when Kaoru finally regains consciousness, his memories have been curiously erased; it's as if his life has suddenly been rewritten, with no trace of Hikaru in them. Everyone in his life plays along. Kaoru doesn't understand his own heart; why does he feel pain when he looks into a mirror? Will he ever remember?_

**Yeah that's a bit of a weird full summary...but anyway... on with the show!**

**Warnings: it's just shonen-ai...i'm not sure _exactly _what that implies...but they're depicted as lovers in here without going very far. kissing is the furthest. but if you don't like that then don't read it. thanks.**

**Disclaimer: No i don't own Ouran. sigh. does anyone ever? :(**

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><p><strong>~Separation~<strong>

Something crackled nearby. As Kaoru slowly and painfully dragged back his heavy eyelids, he saw flashing emergency services' lights; red and blue, lighting up the night. The scene was almost beautiful and serene; moonlight had spread its long silky white-blonde hair over the scramble of confusion until chaos almost became tranquillity. Sound was thrumming against his eardrums as if cotton wool had been stuck in his ears whilst a loud band played a thriving beat, the flash of lights at a rock concert. He saw people screaming and shouting, their mouths opening and closing with agonising looks of horror; but no sound reached him. Blood was rushing to his head, dizzying his sense of gravity. Kaoru could hear his own heart beat pounding in his ears, the bass drum was thudding a rapid unsteady rhythm…until the drummer missed a beat.

'Hikaru?' the one word came out of his mouth like garbling bubbles, but it was the only thing that mattered now.

Kaoru sensed rather than saw; a cold and pale white hand identical to his own clutching tightly to his fingers; but the grip was slowly loosening as the seconds ticked by.

A warm runny substance trickled out of Kaoru's mouth as he gasped for breath in the crushed compartment of their limousine. Glass tinkled gently against the concrete and resounded in the dark like giggling fairies. The glow of lights began to blur sharply, and to Kaoru it felt like he was entering a beautiful night-time photograph of a city. The dull pain in his head, his stomach, his legs…all over…began to sharpen and he exhaled painfully. He turned his head around instinctively, for what felt like the last time and saw a ghostly bloodless face inches away from his own; identical to his own, or so it seemed to most people.

But not to him. It had always been clear, which was him...so the other must be…

'Hikaru!' he rasped; no air left in his lungs to support that cry of despair.

Hikaru's eyes were closed, but they opened a fraction as he heard his twin calling his name. His fingers tightened against his younger brother's. A cut on his cheek dripped blood consistently onto the glass above their heads. Kaoru felt numb. There was blood everywhere; whose was it? It was a curious sensation as they both identically wondered whose blood was smeared on the glass, on the light blue fabric of their blazers, over the Ouran High School emblem, on the expensive black leather and all over the shining interior of what was once a limousine.

_I love you…Kaoru. _

A solitary tear was all Kaoru could manage in his state of consciousness. Hikaru seemed to laugh in his head, _Twin telepathy. Don't cry, Kao. _

In a feeble attempt to stay conscious, Kaoru shifted his weight, trying to remove his legs from where they were jammed, but all he was met with was a burning pain. He groaned and ceased, hyperventilating slightly as he attempted to stop himself yelling in agony. He didn't want Hikaru to know; this was not a time for him to be worrying about his younger brother.

Hikaru glared at him weakly and tried to look calm, 'Do you think we'll get out of this?' His voice came out staggered as he choked and winced from the glass embedded in his chest, a red stain rapidly sinking into the torn white shirt.

_Don't talk, Hika. We'll get out. _

'Together.' Hikaru smiled at his twin and closed his eyes.

Kaoru mirrored his brother's smile and rested his head against whatever gravity and space allowed. In the distance, he could begin to hear someone screaming something; was it their names? Kaoru listened to his own breathing, ragged and steadily becoming more difficult. With the darkness crept fear and insecurity. What would happen if Hikaru died and he didn't? Kaoru knew he didn't want to survive with only the _memory_ of his beloved brother. Fear began to engulf him, and his fingers, fighting against the numbness creeping through his body, clutched at Hikaru's ice cold hand. Pain flooded into his chest as hot tears began to spill, mixing with blood. He swallowed the lump in his throat, the taste of blood strong in his mouth.

The lights began to fade, his conscience teetered on the edge of a dangerous precipice, and darkness was waiting below. Kaoru wanted to stay.

Hikaru's hand slipped from his and landed with a soft thud against the torn and glass-ridden black leather seats. A cold wind blew into Kaoru's empty hand, but he could no longer feel.

_I love you too, Hikaru. Forever. _

The night engulfed the two identical unconscious teenagers. They didn't feel when they were torn apart, they didn't feel when they were carried into two separate ambulances and accompanied by their parents, separately. They didn't know they were placed in separate hospital wards. They were separated. Nothing but love was there to guide them.

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><p><em>~~~Later~~~<em>

'Doctor, will my sons be alright?'

'Ma'am, they both suffered severe injuries. Kaoru has proceeded into a coma.'

A cry of despair rang out in the echoing silence, '…and Hikaru?'

'I'm afraid there's not much we can do. I'm so very sorry, Ma'am.'

'May I see them?'

'Of course. This way.' Footsteps faded away.

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><p><em>~~~A week later…~~~<em>

'Mum? Where's Kaoru?'

Mrs Hitachiin sat by Hikaru's bedside, her left hand resting on the bed railing and her eyes on her eldest son, the saddest smile lifted the edge of her lips.

'Thank goodness you're awake, Hikaru.'

'_Where's Kaoru.' _The older twin began to panic, closing his eyes and reaching out to his brother. He felt nothing but silence and peace.

'Kaoru's…' the smile on their mother's face slipped and tears began welling in her glassy shell-shocked eyes.

Dark shadows were developing beneath her eyes, her makeup was haphazard from the last time she had replenished it…a week ago… her hair was roughly tied and slipping into untidy. Hikaru noticed the hand on his bed railing, the knuckles were white. He would have felt guilt, and pity, had it not been Kaoru at stake.

Hikaru's chest felt heavy; his heart was being squeezed painfully and cruelly. He took a deep breath and told his overthinking brain to shut up; it's not like Kaoru was dead or anything… _was he?_ Hikaru began to hyperventilate unconsciously. It couldn't be.

'…he's in a coma, and the doctors say he will most likely never wake up. I'm so sorry, Hikaru.' She began to cry again.

He heard the words, and they echoed in his suddenly empty mind. _Coma…coma…coma...his twin…his brother…his _love_… was in a coma…_ A memory flashed and he saw Kaoru's teasing smile in the light as he poked his older brother lightly and affectionately, 'you're so slow, Hika.'

'Where is he?' Hikaru interrupted his mother's sobbing apologies, a hand on his blanket and a foot already hovering in mid-air.

'You're not allowed to leave the bed, you need rest!'

'WHERE IS HE?' Hikaru yelled, tearing the IV from his arm and sliding onto the cold tiled floor of the hospital.

Almost immediately, a crippling pain seized his legs and drove him to the ground. He cursed...and remembered Kaoru laughing when Hikaru used to swear at their homework or little inconveniences…like the maids knocking on their door at a _very_ inappropriate moment, the younger one constantly amused by silly things, especially things he never did himself. Hikaru swore again, a tear sliding down his cheek. Would he really never see Kaoru laugh ever again?

The pain grew stronger, and his vision blurred. The air was sterilised, cold and emotionless. The walls were white, the curtains were white and so was his bed, his blankets, his clothing…everything. He was fading into a world of numbness and white; a world with no pain. But Hikaru wanted to see Kaoru; something not cold and emotionless, even if he had to endure this pain. He longed to touch the fiery auburn hair, to stare into those honey gold eyes and see his own reflection and to feel the soft warm skin of his other half. As he slipped away, he saw more figures approaching; the same white numbness. Was he going mad?

Doctors and nurses were streaming in, professionalism etched in their worried faces and _white_ cloaks. Hikaru wanted to scream and struggle until he was brought to the one thing that kept him sane; Kaoru.

A sharp prick in his arm and darkness engulfed him again; the white was gone, but so was everything else…so was Kaoru.

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><p><em>~~~Another week gone…~~~<em>

'I'm sorry, Mrs Hitachiin,' the doctor was saying, real _sympathy _in his voice.

'Don't be. It's not your fault, doctor. Please ensure Hikaru's…departure…is properly arranged…' Choked sobs broke her.

'Your younger son is showing signs of mental recovery, he may awaken soon.'

Silence filled the hall; nothing could be heard except for the endless tears dripping onto the floor. Mrs Hitachiin was a composed woman, as capable as her sons to hide her emotions, but for once she felt broken, her heart and soul were grieving. _Why did they have to…?_

Footsteps approached the bed where a delicate looking teen with fiery auburn hair was sleeping restlessly.

'Oh Kaoru, do you sense him?' she sniffed a little hysterically, swallowing another lump forming in her throat as she gazed down at the unconscious boy. Kaoru was lost in his own world, but his forehead was crinkled _ever so slightly_; a cute little frown.

'I'm afraid this will become necessary if Kaoru awakens. Hikaru…must be kept a secret from him until he recovers. We cannot risk him falling into the same consequences as his brother.' The doctor sighed heavily.

'I'm so sorry, Kaoru. Forgive me.'

She laid her hand on Kaoru's fragile fingers.

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><p>'<em>Hika!' <em>

'_Hmm? What is it Kaoru?' Hikaru smiled at his younger brother._

'_We'll be together forever right?' Kaoru pouted most adorably, which was something he definitely should _not _be doing at the age of 14, knowing Hikaru's vulnerability to his cuteness._

'_Of course! Even if it's not physically, we're always together…here.' Hikaru leaned close and laid his palm over Kaoru's chest, feeling the heart beating calmly. He chuckled when the tempo sped up for a second or two. _

Kaoru lay on a wide grass field, alone, relishing in the feeling of the dewy blades of green pressing against his feverish skin. He thought about Hikaru, about the memories flying past his eyes, and about Hikaru. _Where am I and where is he?_

He thought back to their first kiss and blushed. Kaoru remembered the wildly possessive look in his twin's eyes as he procrastinated one night. He remembered the rough and gentle moment when Hikaru seized him by the collar and pressed their lips together.

The clouds seemed to take on familiar shapes; toys they shared, places they went, people they knew… there was a cloud shaped like Tamaki's head, and Kaoru laughed, enjoying himself. Suddenly, the atmosphere felt heavy, a light breeze swept his hair back like a hand brushing his cheek. He heard his name on the wind.

_Kaoru_.

The voice was familiar. Hikaru? Is it you?

All the clouds of memories began to deform and converge in a giant cumulonimbus***** storm. Kaoru sat upright, staring up at the sky in alarm as a harsh wind started to blow, an agonised wail echoing over the field. Heavy drops of rain splattered against his auburn hair, drenching him fully. The water slid onto his lips and dissolved on his tongue. _It's salty._ Tears?

"_KAORU!_" the voice again.

I'm here, who are you? Kaoru called up at the sky, swallowing a mouthful of salty rain. Perhaps it was acid rain? Then again he couldn't be sure; it had always been Hikaru who was good at chemistry. At the thought of Hikaru, tears began to well up in his eyes. He couldn't understand why.

"_Kaoru, I love you!"_

I love you too. Kaoru smiled, tears pouring down his cheeks, as tears fell from the sky.

A warm sensation touched his lips. All the memories of Hikaru's passionate kisses flooded into Kaoru's head.

"_Wake up, plea-ugh." _The wind howled loudly, like screaming in the night, screaming for him.

Wake up? I am awake, Hika. Where are you?

Suddenly, the sky cleared. A cloud in the shape of his mother hovered gently nearby, her smile was forced. The grass was soaked, but Kaoru was dry. He felt dizzy. The ground seemed to disappear as he fainted; he toppled backwards, landing with a quiet flump in the marshmallow-soft land of dreams.

_Hikaru…_

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><p><strong>Some ending notes...<strong>

***a cumulonimbus cloud is like this gigantic anvil shaped storm cloud. It can cause tornados! :D I just felt like showing off my meteorologist skills hehe.**

**Anyway I love Hikaru and Kaoru so I guarantee that this will have a happy ending. :) It might get a bit angsty from here but not too much. I'm still trying to figure out the plot myself, so yeah.**

**Reviews would be much appreciated, especially if you've got some ideas? I've got a few other random drabbles in my head but they're not coming out right so I decided to write this story first.**

**Thanks for reading! Please, pretty please with _Hani-senpai's cake stash_ on top, REVIEW! I don't care what you write, even if it's just a smiley face or sad face or angry face review! Just gimme some feedback and I will love you! :D Lots of Hitachiin cookies for you!**

**I'm hoping to get the next chapter up soon so keep your eyes peeled my lovely readers!**

**Thanks! R&R! :3**

**Lola K.**


	2. Hospital and Memory

**Hi everyone!**

**Thanks to: _brianna k jordan_ and _thewateryfiredrummer _for favouriting my story so fast! :O i really was so shocked i fell about giggling for 2 minutes and earning weird looks from my mum. **

**This chap is a bit more dialogue based... it might be a bit confusing.**

_Italic passages are past memories. It's not that Kaoru remembers, it's more like memories he's forgotten. :)_

**Disclaimer again: no i don't own OHSHC. **

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><p><strong>~Hospital and Memory~<strong>

'Doctor! Doctor! I think he's waking up!'

'Quick, call the mother.'

'Yes sir.'

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><p><em>Hikaru smiled at Kaoru. <em>

_Kaoru smiled at Hikaru._

_Their hands were joined as they stood in the courtyard, watching the koi frolicking in the water fountain, splashing in the downpour. The statues smiled coyly at them, pouring endless cascades of water. Kaoru trailed his fingers over the water and laughed as the schools of goldfish nommed the tips. Hikaru smiled at him. _

_Sometimes they just sat and smiled at each other. _

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><p>'Mmpf.'<p>

The ceiling was white. Kaoru felt the warm sheets hugging him, but it was cold. No thoughts went through his head. He wanted to see someone.

'Mmm…' he sighed, moistening his lips.

'Young master, can you hear us?' a young nurse was hovering over him, adjusting various parts of his bed, shifting the blanket and checking the monitor.

'Where's…' Kaoru paused.

'Doctor.' The nurse with black midnight hair waved over an older man with spectacles, the typical image of a senior doctor.

'Young master, don't speak. Please rest.' He croaked with an anxious expression in his aged face.

'Where's my mother?' Kaoru cleared his throat.

'Your _mother_, young master?' Shock. Confusion. Quickly smiled away. Kaoru caught it all. Why?

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><p>'Kaoru, my darling son, thank goodness you're finally awake.' She smiled at him, tears shimmering in her eyes with happiness.<p>

Something felt strange to Kaoru, and he fidgeted away from his mother's anxious fingertips. Her presence was unusual, something he was unaccustomed to. She had never been there for him, yet there was no one else to call.

'Is dad here?' Kaoru asked, sniffing in the anaesthesia of the hospital ward.

'He's busy but he sent you these,' his mother pointed at a large bouquet of flowers, colourful and neutral, and a plain generic card with the words 'Get Well Soon' written in gold fancy lettering.

'Mum… Why do I feel empty?' He frowned, why was he telling his mother all this? But why shouldn't he?

Mrs Hitachiin swallowed the lump in her throat and placed her hand on Kaoru's small shoulder, smiling at him, 'it must be the morphine in your system. You should rest.'

'Do the others know about our accident?' Kaoru said; the words spilling from his mouth as questions began to fill his mind.

'I've informed the school of _your_ accident.' She said firmly with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

'Sorry, did I say "our"?' Kaoru laughed at his mistake, 'I must be tired.'

'Of course, go to sleep.' His mother smiled at him.

Kaoru closed his eyes, unable to withstand this petty conversation any longer. She still did not understand them. _Them? _What was wrong with him that he kept thinking in plural? He wanted to run somewhere. Maybe he could find a telephone in the hospital and call Hani-senpai or Kyouya-senpai. Before he could think any further, the drug overtook his senses, and he drifted into a blind sleep.

In his subconscious dreams, he saw himself, sitting on a window sill one afternoon, staring up at the dark cloudy sky as rain splattered against the glass. Lightning flashed and his shadow sprawled itself along the floor, seeping through the rich carpet of his room. He was all alone. Tears were streaming down his cheeks but he couldn't remember why. As the lightning flashed again, Kaoru caught his reflection in the ice cold window pane, distorted by the streams of water running down. His mouth was turned down and his eyes were red. There was a horrible pain in his chest.

_I don't remember. _

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><p>'Young Master, you're absolutely fine. Your memory may seem to have <em>holes<em> in it, but it may just be the shock of the accident resulting in a traumatic response for subconscious amnesia. I'm sure it's temporary,' the doctor smiled at him, the words smoothly flowing from his mouth, well practiced.

'Thank you.' Kaoru was polite, as always. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, keeping his breath consistent and slow. _Breathe in. And out..._

The doctor patted his leg gently and stood up to whisper quietly to his mother behind the curtain. Kaoru listened.

'It seems to be a case of severe selective amnesia, Ma'am. It's quite curious.'

'So he's just forgotten..._him_?' A sigh, 'I understand, doctor.'

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><p>'Kao-chan! I'm so glad you're okay!' Hani-senpai hugged his neck, flowers fluttering around his bouncy figure, Usa-chan being waved around madly in the air. Hani sounded like he'd been crying a lot recently.<p>

'Indeed.' Kyouya-senpai gave a rare smile at the young teenager, but his fingers were white against his black clipboard that he clutched leisurely to his chest.

'Where's Tamaki-senpai?' Kaoru asked, looking around at the members of the host club and wondering where that annoying blonde addition was.

'He's outside, crying to some nurse.' Haruhi rolled her eyes.

'The doctors said I might be missing some of my memories, and I do feel like I can't remember half the time I spent with you guys,' Kaoru sighed, slumping back against his pillows.

'It's okay Kao-chan! Would you like some cake?' Hani held out a small cupcake with two strawberries sitting next to each other in a glop of cream.

Kaoru stared at the cake in wonder, then smiled and plopped the strawberry in his mouth. As he chewed, the door opened a crack, and two violet puppy-dog eyes emerged. Tears were plopping down in large drops, splashing onto the ground, running over clenched fists.

'Kaoru…?'

'Tono…' Kaoru smiled at him, 'you can come in you know.'

A large blonde haired shape flew in crying and leaving puddles everywhere, before launching itself at the auburn haired boy and seizing him by the neck.

'KAORU! Fear not! Your lovely King is here!' Tamaki sniffed, his smile beaming in the sterile room.

'Alright, I think that's enough, the young master must have his rest.' The same ink-haired young nurse stepped in, ushering the host club members out in her timid voice that quickly became impatient at the wailing Tamaki.

Kyouya lingered in the doorway, his dark onyx eyes staring at Kaoru for a moment. He walked over, pushing his steel-rimmed glasses higher on his nose. Pulling out a small novel previously hidden in his clipboard, he sighed.

'Here, I brought you this from your room.' It was a small paperback novel written in English. Kaoru had no memory of it ever being in his possession.

'Kyouya-senpai-'

'Remember.' Kyouya gave Kaoru a pen and left the room without another glance.

Kaoru was confused. He looked at the book in his hand, _Pride and Prejudice?_ He was sure he had read it before… but unsure at the same time.

Someone knocked on the door.

'Kaoru? Are you asleep?'

_It's Mum. _Kaoru hurriedly stashed the two items beneath his pile of pillows. He didn't know why. He just knew she shouldn't know.

~~~OvO~~~

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><p><strong>AN: Okay... there were a few things in this chapter that I wanted to write about but didn't quite manage to. **

**Chap 3 summary: **Several weeks later, Kaoru's out of the hospital fully recovered from his car crash. Or so he is lead to believe. He returns to school and everyone turns to him with welcome smiles. He feels glad to be back, but everything is so _boring. _How did he ever survive life?

Why does he always speak in third person? All will be answered...EVENTUALLY! :D

Thnx for reading, my updates are irregular. and today i had time so...

R&R :)


	3. Day One: Unbearable

Hello everyone. I hope I can update before school starts on Monday, because after that I'll be on hiatus for a while since I've got a BIG exam coming up on the 18th of October - after that I'll be back properly and updating more regularly. :)

**Disclaimer:** bow before Hatori Bisco everyone. because i don't own ouran. i don't even own trigonometry or any of the other things mentioned in this chapter...let alone do i own Shakespeare. oops- spoilers. ;D (for doctor who fans)

**Thanks to: Gloriaa01, Le Dancing Flamingo, SakuraKiss96, Evide and Dante Anton Walt**! for reviewing/favouriting/story alerting this story! :) i appreciate that a lot. ^_^ biscuit? (::)

**Note**: for all those of you who are beginning to notice the trick to this story; I'm _really bad_ at red herrings. ==; sorry about that. I've also noticed a word error in the 2nd chapter which was something about the doctor telling Kaoru he had "subconscious" and that's supposed to say "subconscious amnesia" i think... but i've corrected a bit - it doesn't make much of a difference, i just thought I should mention it.

**THIS CHAPTER**: is a bit dull and loong, but it's supposed to be like that. Also, the POV changes from 3rd person to Kaoru's POV repeatedly. I know that's confusing, but some parts I just found it hard to write in 3rd person.

_On with the show~~~_

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><p>...<p>

**~Day 1: Unbearable~**

Kaoru awoke to the smell of soft comforting blankets and expensive furniture. His cheek was pressed into the delicate silk pillow covers, wanting to preserve every moment of his morning. He inhaled the smell of the sheets, freshly washed and deliciously scented like flowers. He sighed contentedly. It was good to be home.

A light breeze brushed against his cold exposed shoulders as the door swept open.

'Young Master, breakfast is ready.'

The door clicked as the maid shut the door, leaving him alone in his room again.

The early morning sunrise crawled through the curtains, spilling onto the bed, wrapping itself around him. He slowly pulled himself to a sitting position and yawned. Light pooled around him, somehow evading the darkness, turning his ginger spikes a fiery red. His bedroom loomed before him, the interior design familiar, left as if he had never been in an accident.

Kaoru exhaled a deep breath and slumped back into his pillows. He didn't want to get up. His arms spread out on the large bed, the tips of his fingers not even coming close to the edge. The intricately carved ceiling art curved high above him. He sighed again...but slid himself out of bed.

Pulling open the walk-in wardrobe, he walked towards the familiar section where his school uniform hung. Several items of clothing were missing; he assumed they must have been stained from his accident and disposed off shortly afterwards. As he tightened the tie around his neck, he caught a sight of his reflection in the large floor-to-ceiling mirror. Dark shadows adorned his eyes. Kaoru looked away.

The grounds were quiet. A small bird chirped in the distance. Kaoru stared at his watch for several seconds before replacing his arm at his side. Then he lifted his arm and looked at it again. The numbers didn't seem to stay in his mind.

He trotted downstairs quietly, his footsteps barely making a sound on the tiled floors.

When he finished, the knife clinked to the porcelain loudly in the silence. He stood up and left with a quiet _gochisosamadeshita*****._

As he began to throw a few last books into his school bag, the phone by his beside rang.

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><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

_Oh? The phone's ringing. _I reached over and picked up the receiver.

'_Good morning, Kaoru!_' It was mum.

'Morning, Mum.' My voice came out cheery.

'_Are you getting ready for school?' _

'Yes.'

'_Don't tire yourself out. If you feel even a little tired, you should ask a maid to help you, okay?'_

'That's alright, I feel fine.' I lied smoothly, tilting my head as I tried to nudge away the stiff feeling in my neck.

'_Alright, well have a safe day at school. I just thought I'd call before I left for Sydney. I really wish you could come with me this time. The doctor did recommend some relaxation and sunshine, plus this would have been a great chance for you to see the latest trends down under.' _My mother laughed at the contemplation of her little slang word play.

'I'm really behind on school work, so maybe next time Mum,' I said consolingly, knowing that with my mother, it was unlikely there was to be a next time.

'_Okay, Kaoru. Take care, I love you.' _

She hung up. _I love you too, Mum._ I sighed apathetically for a moment before throwing the receiver on my bed a little harder than I intended. The plastic thing bounced several times before smacking into the headboard with a loud bang.

The maid peeked through the door with an anxious look in her eyes, 'Is everything okay?'

I smiled, already regretting my actions, 'Is the car ready?'

She nodded and opened the door for me._ Here we go, _I thought.

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><p><strong>~3rd P~<strong>

Kaoru stepped out of the limousine, thanking the driver and looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful blue today, as if the clouds had all cleared away and moved aside to let the sun wave at him in welcome. Two little birds in the distance twirled in a little graceful dance, twittering and chattering to each other, a little secret language. Kaoru smiled at them before walking into the building.

The day passed without event. All the students seemed so happy to see Kaoru back to school that everyone smiled and greeted him in the corridors. He couldn't help but smile back and laugh as Haruhi led him around to their classes like normal routine.

'Come on, Tamaki-senpai's not going to be pleased if we're late to Host Club, even if it's your first day back, Kaoru.' Haruhi pulled his sleeve as he threw things into his locker.

When they opened the doors to the third music room...

Rose petals flew at them magically, fluttering dramatically as the four members posed, dressed in normal school uniform for once, a few balloons flying around and streamers everywhere.

'Oh it's Haruhi!' A dog tail began waving.

'I'll start preparing the tea.' Haruhi side-stepped the oncoming whirlwind and all but ran to the pile of teapots in the corner.

'Kaoru, it's nice to see you back.' Kyouya relaxed from his position and adjusted his glasses.

'Yes it is nice to be back, Kyouya-senpai. Hello, Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai.' He smiled at the two seniors who were sitting on the couch.

'Isn't he so nice, Mommy?' Tamaki's eyes began to glisten.

'Hey, um... Kyouya-senpai,' Kaoru started nervously, pulling the Shadow King aside to speak to him.

'Have you had a chance to read the book I gave you yet?'

'No...not yet... you see, my memory...' the auburn-haired teen was embarrassed to admit that he could barely remember his hosting duties anymore.

'Oh I see, don't worry; just act natural. I'm sure today your customers will be more than happy just to see you safe than to be questioning your actions.'

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><p><strong>~Kaoru's POV~<strong>

_Later that afternoon..._

The day seems to have flown by. I sat in the car, resting my elbow on the windowsill and dozing off, my cheek resting on the cold glass. I tried to remember something.

Nothing but faint remembrances of my cheek resting against something else, something softer and warmer. My pillow, perhaps? I sighed again. I wanted to go home and sleep for the rest of the night, but the heavy pile of maths homework in my bag nudged my leg unhelpfully.

My eyelids grew heavier; I really was quite exhausted after all. Instead of allowing myself a short nap, I reached to the bottom of my bag, and pulled out the book Kyouya-senpai had handed to me in the hospital.

I brushed the cover with the tips of my fingers pensively, wondering why he would have given me this specific book. The plot was okay. I had no memories of holding any personal preference for it. This copy was a relatively old one – from at least 30 years ago – and the cover was worn, discoloured and falling apart. I felt the soft paper and flipped to the first page.

My own name was written in faint pencil at the top of the title page, the rest of the delicate tissue paper slightly ripped that the first portion of my name was actually missing.

I continued until I found the first page of the story. _Chapter I_. I began to read, still not quite understanding Kyouya's intentions. As I skimmed through, I noticed the little pencil marks and scribbled Japanese notes in my handwriting next to words and phrases I didn't understand at the time. A memory sparked in my head.

'_They were having a sale at the library and I thought you might like it, Kaoru.' _

I threw the book onto the seat beside me and sighed, not really feeling the heart to read the novel at the moment. Peeking out the window again, I saw familiar neighbourhoods flashing by and clouds beginning to gather in the sky. Maybe I should have given Haruhi a lift home…I felt like I could use the company right now.

* * *

><p>My mother called again, this time her voice was more concerned, asking me <em>every single detail<em> about what had happened today at school, and if everyone was being nice to me. I assured her everything was perfectly fine and everyone was perfectly _normal_. She seemed worried. I didn't really want to explain about my day. I really wanted to sleep, so I told her about the pile of maths homework –which was true, I realised.

She hung up with another little 'I love you, be safe.'

Sighing, I grabbed my bag and threw it beside my desk before pulling out the textbooks. I read the list of maths exercises left for me to do through all the weeks I had been _unconscious_. It was almost totally unjust that I still had to do these. Maybe I should ask Haruhi to come help me…but she had enough work herself and I owed her a lot for taking notes for me.

So I picked up my phone again and dialled her mobile, 'Hello? Kaoru, is everything okay?'

'I'm fine.' Honestly I was getting tired of saying it, 'I was just wondering if you wanted to have a homework session with me. I can't be bothered doing maths right now.'

'Maybe tomorrow, Kaoru, I-' someone's voice in the background interrupted her.

'_Who are you talking to Haruhi?' _Her dad.

'It's _Kaoru_, dad,' she said my name exasperatedly, before turning back to me, 'I've really got to go, sorry Kaoru, call Tamaki-senpai or something. I'm sure he'd help.'

I groaned and opened the maths books to a random page, staring at the numbers for about two minutes straight before the words began floating off the grid paper and into my face. I didn't realise till half an hour later, when I was awoken by the rain, that I had actually fallen asleep.

I gave up, and fell asleep in my school shirt, the tie loosely hanging around my neck. Sigh. I forget how I survived maths homework…let alone high school.

* * *

><p><em>~~;_;~~<em>

'_Shut up, Hikaru.'_

'_I'm trying to help you! It's not my fault you're so terrible at trig,' Hikaru grinned._

_Kaoru yawned and rested his head on his left arm, watching the numbers being scrawled messily by his right hand. Hikaru pouted and lifted up his brother's head for him. _

_'Cosine...and it's not 57 degrees, it's the 48 degrees angle.' _

'_Leave me alone, I want to figure this out by myself.'_

_A small silence passed whilst Hikaru danced around the room memorising quotes for their Shakespeare essay the next day – of course Kaoru already had that covered. Then he chanced a peek over his hard-working mathematically-challenged younger twin's shoulder._

'_Sine rule,' he whispered quietly into his hand with a little exaggerated cough, 'Ambiguous case too.'_

'_Shut up!' Kaoru grudgingly wrote down the formula. _

_Hikaru smirked, lifting up Kaoru's chin against his protests, 'if I help you, will you do me a favour?' _

_Kaoru growled at him, thinking this was _not_ the time for distractions. _

_The elder of the two grinned smugly as if he knew exactly what Kaoru thought he was implying - which he did, 'tell me; what's another theme in this thing?' he held up the stack of neatly stapled notes, half written and corrected in Kaoru's handwriting. _

_Kaoru frowned…and kissed his brother lightly, 'Love, you idiot.' _

**~~~OvO~~~**

* * *

><p><em><strong>*gochisosamadeshita - it kind of means 'thanks for the meal' in Japanese. you say it after eating. <strong>_

_**A/N: that was bad wasn't it. the end part was just another "memory" that he's lost - as i kind of mentioned before. i'm just putting them in to make the story more interesting...and make more sense. It gets more interesting from here - and possibly angsty.**_

_**Chap 4 summary**: Kaoru remembers nothing - consciously at least. For the first time since his accident, he looks properly in the mirror at himself. Who he sees is not himself, but someone else, but who is it? Could he just be slowly losing his mind? _

hope you enjoyed that chapter, and i'll try update asap. :/

and their mother's name is Yuzuha Hitachiin right? I just wanted to check before I used her name... in case I wrote down someone else's name instead. i feel so bad for the rest of this story because you guys are saying my first chapter was good and i know i'm slowly degrading chap-by-chap :( this always happens...


	4. We're Us

:) yay chapter 4! soz it took so long. :/ major writers block.

**Disclaimer**: no i don't own ouran. :(

* * *

><p><strong>~~~We're Us~~~<strong>

...

He was running. He could feel the fear and sadness as the tears slid down. It was strange, because he could feel all of this, yet he was watching the boy in an orange jacket running. They were running. _He is me. I'm him. _

The rain began to pour down heavier and heavier until his short hair was drenched and plastered across his forehead messily. The cold sickly feeling of droplets sliding down his scalp tickled, and he cringed. Trees were blurring into the gravel; an indiscernible wash of grey and green, fading into the background. It didn't matter. The destination did not matter.

His footsteps were silent even as the shoes splashed into a puddle. No sound. There was no pressure beneath his soles, just a dreamy softness as he flew over.

The boy stopped; he stopped; they stopped. Why did he stop?

An ornately carved gold-plated frame loomed before him, rising towards the sky, the peak invisible above the stormy grey clouds. Squinting upward, he could see nothing more than raindrops striking him between the eyes.

He reached out to touch it, and as expected, the golden curls and spirals were cold. The tips of his fingers traced the contours of the various shapes and flowers distorting like flames from the mouth of a dragon frozen in gold.

What was it?

Lightning flickered in the distance, with a soft grumble of thunder over the horizon.

The boy brushed the edges of the gleaming column with his palm, before hitting something unexpected. An unseen substance blocked him. How curious.

Was it glass? He rapped his knuckles sharply against it, and a dull crystalline whisper echoed into the surroundings.

Two steps to the left. A similar golden column came into view several metres away, previously hidden behind a curtain of drizzle and grey.

Was it a doorway?

He reached out his arm again and the same resistance presented itself. The rain laughed at him, splattering in its high voice on the pebbly ground. He wiped the dripping water from his eyes and scowled, turning away from the invisible wall. It didn't concern him, nor did he care.

A faint curiosity remained. He could sense the boy's anger and the reason behind it, but also the nagging feeling that something was _wrong_. Like something was missing.

Out of the corner of his eye, at the very edge of his peripheral vision, something moved; something more substantial and conscientious than the rain pitter-pattering down around him, in his clothes and shoes. They spun around, surprised.

Oh. It was another boy. He couldn't sense this one, yet he could. The newcomer had a quirky little smile; cute and innocent…so familiar, but so distant and stranger-like. He backed away; they were frightened by this devilish creature. It was then he realised the stranger was on the other side of the 'glass', and seemed equally shocked to see another person.

Both stood in silence, staring at each other. He shivered as the rain crept deeper into his socks, wrapping around his ankles like worms. The other trembled as well.

He raised a hand in awkward greeting; the other did the same.

One step forward; the other took a step too.

He tilted his head in amusement. Was it a mirror then? The 'mirror-boy' tilted his head and smiled again. It couldn't be a mirror, could it? Blue jacket, orange jacket…but the same auburn hair split oppositely.

He walked right up to the wall of solid air and touched the space between them, his whole palm pressed against nothingness. The other boy copied him; a split second lag in motion – so it wasn't a mirror after all.

He wanted to smile at the other; it felt _right_. No one was telling him to smile. He wanted to.

The corner of the boy's lips began to pull up and he felt a severe satisfaction as he observed and lived it all at once. _He is me. We're smiling. _

All of a sudden, the wall was breached and the air shattered into shards of diamond glass. The other boy pushed forward, meeting their hands in the middle – a frozen high five - crushing the glass into a fine powder. Blood flowed. Crystal rained from the sky. It splintered like raindrops on the concrete, refracting and flying away on the wind. Clouds cleared and the sun arrived. As slivers continued to topple from the frame, rainbows burst into existence around them, and a disco of light surrounded the boys in orange and blue.

'We're us,' the other boy spoke with the echo of two.

But as the last fragments chuckled on their fellow pieces, the blue jacketed one drew a shimmering piece from behind, and rushed forward.

The same sickly smile remained as blood began to ravish the wet orange material.

He gasped. No pain? Their hands parted as the boy in orange tumbled into the puddles of diamond. No. _I'm him. He's me. We're us. _

Blood spread. The rose red soaked the pure pieces of translucent white. The other disappeared; his smile had vanished with him. Tears and rain.

_Who is who?_

_..._

* * *

><p>...<p>

Hikaru awoke to the sound of his own voice screaming. It was several seconds before he could register what it was that was piercing the sound barrier. It was only a nightmare, and he knew it.

As he stared towards the open window where a little songbird bird had perched itself, one image remained in his mind as the rest slipped away like sand in an hourglass.

'_Kaoru… why couldn't I feel it as…'_ Hikaru sighed.

It had been weeks since he had spoken to anyone, even himself. Nightmares had shoved themselves into his head every single night, all of them involving Kaoru. It just made him feel guilty and angry to be here and not with him.

For the first time since the hospital, he spoke one word, his voice coming out stupid to his own ears and exasperatingly useless.

'Kaoru…'

**~~~OvO~~~**

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** short chapter this time. :) promise it'll get longer. hope you liked this totally random filler chapter - it still leads on tho. :O Hikaru's alive! but where is he?

**thnx to: **Saya Kurobara, Leaf wants you, SarahJones, Sayshi, XtheXblackXsheepX, Papasbookworm, oOKai-ChiiOo, the anonymous OuranStudent() and all my previous followers :)

**nxt up: **_Running only ever takes you so far, and then you have to start facing what you're running from. Kaoru never wanted to be violent, but could he win a battle against his own mind? _

_-_ Lola :)


	5. Mirrors

WOW! :D thanks for reviewing and favouriting and story alerting me! i feel so spoilt right now. but it's a good kind of spoilt. SO SPOIL ME~ :D (okay getting weird and awkward...) so i've decided to shove this chapter up earlier since i just happened to have a good idea how to write it.

I had requests to bring back the _fluff memory sequences_ so this chapter has one that's not really connected with the chapter itself.

**Disclaimer: **own Ouran, I do not. i do however own the OvO owl face. it's a nice line break. :3

* * *

><p><strong>~~~Mirrors [and Spicy Maple Syrup]~~~<strong>

_~Ovo~_

_Stacks of messy bowls lay scattered on the tiled kitchen floors and tables and bench tops, most half-full of various ingredients of quite a potent nature. A sticky patch of a spilt golden substance was splattered on the white tablecloth, lightly dusted with black pepper and diced chilli pieces. _

_'This is a bad idea, Hika.'_

_Kaoru sat on the dinner table - carefully avoiding the dangerous pond of translucent yellow liquid behind him, of course - balancing at least three bowls in his arms at once, all filled with the honey-coloured viscous stuff. His twin was dashing around, digging through the many well-stocked cupboards searching for new ingredients to experiment with. _

_'I'm telling you, mixing everything always works.' _

_The rim of the second bowl teetered on the edge of Kaoru's left palm, wobbling for a second before he steadied it. _

_'That's what you said when you blew up the science prac last year.' Kaoru muttered at the maple syrup. _

_Several minutes of stirring and feverish pouring later, a nose-tickling smell wafted into the air. The previously clean flowery apron the two of them had borrowed from Haruhi was now caked in a weird variation of spices from parsley to thyme and sugar to pepper, hot chilli sauce to flour and wasabi. Kaoru sniffed it with amusement before scooping up a large dollop of the maple syrup concoction onto the wooden mixing spoon and pushing it towards his brother. _

_'Eat it.' _

_Hikaru eyed the spoon hovering in front of his mouth apprehensively for a few seconds. Kaoru raised his eyebrows - maybe intentionally a little too adorably. With a deep inhale, Hikaru smiled bravely and took a large mouthful of the multicoloured brew. The spoon slipped back into the bowl unnoticed and silent, slowly sliding down the adhesive stainless-steel-bowl walls. Half a second later, a little grimace appeared on his lips. He swallowed hard - and started choking. _

_'Ack -cough- too much -cough- pepper,' he spluttered._

_'Can I try some?' __Kaoru leaned forward, staining his fingers and apron further with traces of red powder and chopped piri piri, and quickly licked the extra sticky maple syrup from Hikaru's lips. The immensely strong sting of insane amounts of hot and spicy ingredients struck him almost immediately along with the sickly sweet taste of the syrup. Wow. That was too much. _

_They both breathlessly started laughing, almost no sound coming from their burning throats. _

_Hikaru smirked at his younger brother, 'Spicy maple syrup.' He took the bowl from Kaoru's hands and shoved a spoonful into his brother's mouth before the latter could protest, then pushed him against the cluttered table, closing the distance between them with a sweet fiery kiss. _

_A large mountain of flour blew into the air as Kaoru slipped in it, dragging both of them down onto the floor to be instantly coated in a fine layer of white powder that clung like superglue to the coating of "spicy maple syrup" they just happened to be covered in. __Kaoru grinned up at his utterly flour-faced twin._

_'Yum.' _

_..._

_They still had to clean up the mess they'd made... _

_So bittersweet. _

_..._

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

The sun was streaming in through the curtains as usual. Kaoru yawned sleepily and smiled at the ceiling. It was going to be a nice day. He pulled back the soft blankets and rolled onto the floor playfully, laughing lightly at his own ridiculousness.

As he extracted the perfectly ironed uniform, the mirror caught his eye. He recalled a comment Haruhi had made the other day.

'_Kaoru, have you been dressing without a mirror? You look like I used to.'_

Now that he thought about it, it was rather curious that he had never stood himself before a mirror. So he reached out and closed the sub-closet door to place himself in full view of the floor-length mirror. It was perfectly clean and dust mote-free due to the maids' extreme attention to detail. The golden frame was a recreation of the rococo period, its twirls intricate and adorned in precise little golden sea shells and sand dollars along the rim.

Kaoru raised his eyebrows at his reflection. The reflection copied with the same amused little grin. He humoured himself for a while pondering about horror movies as he pulled on his pair of dark school pants.

It was as he turned back to button the white long-sleeved blouse that something strange happened. For a tiny moment, Kaoru had thought his reflection had moved a second too fast. Dismissing the errant thought as a result of his imagination, he yawned like a tired little kitten. Then he realised as his fingers lingered on the second-from-the-top button, the mirror-Kaoru's hands were already in motion towards the collar.

He blinked several times in confusion. The mirror-Kaoru did the same.

…with a soft friendly smile Kaoru didn't have. _Impossible._

A slamming of wardrobe doors later, Kaoru was lying on the floor of his bedroom in shock, still reeling from what he had witnessed. Slowly, his breath returned in sharp inhales. As he took bearing of his surroundings and odd position on the carpet, he realised that he had left the rest of his uniform in the wardrobe at the base of the mirror.

Kaoru sighed and rubbed his head where he had hit it as he ran out. _I probably just didn't see clearly. _He reassured himself before going back in.

Even so, he didn't spare the mirror a single glance. Perhaps it was fear, but Kaoru didn't care if it was. It was just a mirror, and reflections weren't supposed to move without the real world directing.

* * *

><p>~Ovo~<p>

That afternoon, Kaoru stepped out of the car with a pleased expression, slinging his bag full of English essays, Chemistry sheets and Japanese literature texts over a shoulder before holding the door open. Haruhi stepped out with a little sceptical expression at this display of casualness, pulling her own bag filled with similar documents.

'So here's the deal, help me with chemistry and I'll help you with the Japanese writing piece,' Kaoru recited as they walked upstairs to the study desk in his room.

'It's okay Kaoru, I'll just help you; I've already got Tamaki offering to tutor me so I'd rather just not let any of you tutor me.'

'Not even Kyouya-senpai?' Kaoru rolled his eyes at Tamaki.

'Do you _really_ want to put up with all that Mommy business again?' She sighed in agitation just thinking about it.

'Point taken,' Kaoru laughed as he pushed open the door.

Almost furtively, Haruhi glanced around the room curiously as she pondered Kaoru's selective amnesia. As she placed her bag by his desk, she almost instinctively noticed the tattered copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, forgotten in the corner of the bookshelf. Leaning over the stacks of books and papers, Haruhi extracted it.

'I remember this,' she started, 'study of Romance in second year, wasn't it?'

'Really? I don't…really remember it. I remember the book, the techniques and everything I just don't remember the lessons or anything else; just the boring stuff,' Kaoru frowned, taking the book in his hands, 'Kyouya-senpai gave this to me at the hospital. I have no idea why.'

Haruhi stared at him. If Kyouya had given Kaoru the book, then…was it possible?

_This is Kyouya-senpai we're talking about._ Haruhi thought knowingly, _anything's possible with that Shadow King._

'Um…try doing as much of the chemistry homework as you can by yourself and then I'll help you with the rest. I'll just read this whilst you're doing that,' she sat on the floor cross-legged and flipped the novel open to the first page.

Kaoru pouted but did as he was told.

Silence enveloped the two students as time stuttered with the ticking of the little silver clock on the bedside table. Kaoru was bored and getting more and more annoyed at nuclear reactions and magnesium. Soon, he began doodling on the corners of the sheets of paper. He glanced at Haruhi who was now lying on the floor on her stomach, apparently still reading the novel. Kaoru sighed. This was not a fun study session.

Outside the window, dark clouds had begun to gather with the rapid setting of the sun. Kaoru automatically switched on the table lamp. Haruhi didn't so much as look up, but she did flip a page.

Haruhi inwardly sighed. She wasn't in fact reading the book – she'd read it before obviously – but was reading the little scribbled notes on the sidelines. Perhaps this wasn't best for Kaoru.

Another hour later, Kaoru excused himself rather suddenly. The words on the page of the English essay had become blurry and confusing, threatening to waver into darkness. Haruhi was nodding off and had curled into a little sleepy ball on the carpet, still loosely holding _Pride and Prejudice_ in her hands. A tear glistened on her cheek as she dozed.

Wind gently brushed branches of the trees against the shadow-paned glass windows of the bathroom as Kaoru entered. Casting his eyes away from the shapes looming there, he hurriedly switched on the lights.

He placed both hands on the edges of the sink basin, taking two deep breaths and closing his eyes tightly. _Wake up, wake up._ As Kaoru glanced into the mirror hovering before him, a voice on the wind called his name.

'_Kaoru…'_

A shiver ran down his spine as he stood, frozen in place. It was getting cold and the depths of night were approaching. The wind began to furiously howl, smashing trees into each other, and the rustling of leaves was magnified. Rain pattered against the window, harshly echoing in the brightly lit bathroom.

One split-second flash of lightning sparked, and the overhead light bulb flickered. In that instant of perfect electrical darkness and natural light, Kaoru saw him.

It was his reflection, but with a new expression in its honey gold eyes of fear, anger, misery and longing in the place of his own. Familiarity shimmered in that warm smile. Its hand was outstretched towards Kaoru, reaching for him. Deep down, Kaoru felt the stirrings of feather-winged butterflies in his stomach as the pounding in his ears drowned out all sound.

In that one instant, Kaoru knew something was wrong. Without thinking, he lashed out at the thin plated glass; the one concept present in his mind was that _he had to stop it_. Why? There was no Why. He just wasn't going to let this one stupid mirror have him declared insane. Never. White hot crippling pain shattered into his arm and a murmured crackling reverberated softly in the air particles.

Almost immediately, an aftermath roared its disapproval. Thunder crashed violently against the mansion, deafening its occupants and ensuing chaos. A dull quiet settled over as the thunder rolled away.

Just beyond the bathroom door, above the silence and the oddly familiar tinkle of glass and the confusing pain spikes creating tears in Kaoru's eyes, the frightened screaming started on the other side of the lightweight oak door.

'_Kaoru…' _Again. That voice.

**~~~OvO~~~**

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: CONFUSED? Yes, my lovely betareader and I were too. It will all be explained...eventually... starting with the first thing next chapter!

**Disclaimer Updated: **I think that we can own spicy maple syrup too. ;)

**Thanks this time to:** shadowstarr, I'll Nom Your Soul, SullyWullybunny, yaoilover14, LaMindy and JapaneseClute for joining this depressing parade. :)

_Chapter 6 Summary: It's like his memories were trying to force their way back into his life, into reality, but then... maybe he didn't want to remember. Maybe whatever he forgot was better left forgotten. _


	6. Reflections

_SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE. first thing i had to say. :( i had exams and school and i just had this insane writer's block for this chapter.  
><em>_Two nights ago, i read this really good story by **GohanWillBeLoved **called **Don't You Get It?** it's a Hikaru and Kaoru fanfic and I really shamelessly recommend it - it's a bit dark but i couldn't put it down and ended up sleeping at 4am. if you read it, i kind of based some of the concept in this chapter from that story because it really inspired me._

_let's get on with it! Disc: I don't own Ouran. :( _

* * *

><p><strong>~Reflections~<strong>

Large crystalline shards fell to the tiles smoothly, some not; gracelessly clattering against the sink basin, twisting in the air before shattering with their fellows.

Kaoru shivered as the crumbling pieces dug into his hand, pushing blood out in its place. His frightened wide eyes were frozen on the hundreds of faces staring back at him in the broken remains of the bathroom mirror, and the urge to destroy them returned. As he retracted his arm from the gaping wreckage, he stumbled backwards and sat down hard on the edge of the bathtub, bumping against the polished surface. When he reached out instinctively to soften his fall, all he felt was more pain as blood smeared on the white tiles from the deepening cuts.

Almost out of curiosity, Kaoru leant down and picked up a triangular jagged piece of the looking glass and held it up to his face.

In it, he saw his reflection.

With that realisation, a disconnected revulsion rose up in him and he angrily tossed the shard across the room where it bounced harmlessly against the wall.

A stab of pain in his left palm forced Kaoru to look down. His knuckles were as white as the vanity, clenched in a makeshift fury and driving the blood pounding in his head. The fingers rested upon an almost completely hidden piece of glass. Ah, so he was leaning on another one. Little black dots appeared on the corners of his vision as a dark red substance trickled away down the walls of the bathtub; staining it. Kaoru started to laugh a little giddily, only a small part of his conscious mind wondering what was funny as he quickly began to lose all sense of control of himself.

He slipped.

The sound of glittering wind-chimes rang in his ears as deeper scratches dug themselves into his forearm. There was glass everywhere. The harder he fought against the dizziness, the more he stumbled. The smallest pieces were causing the most harm.

Deeper.

Kaoru closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, attempting to calm the drumming headache.

A strangled bubbling sound was echoing from somewhere, and it wasn't until Kaoru dropped his head to stare at the thousands of little mirrors winking up at him did he realise he was quietly sobbing...but laughing.

Again; the overwhelming desire to break them all flew into his mind. It was the same fear as when the pale ghostly white hand reached out from the Mirror World and seized his own with its icy grip, shattering his nerves and breaking the barrier between his world and theirs.

It had tried to pull him in. _He_ had tried to pull him in.

_Leave me alone._

Kaoru didn't even remember what was going on. He felt so alone.

_How contradictory_, he mused with another weak chuckle, staring blankly at the blood steadily flowing from another deep cut in his wrist. It didn't even register to him as dangerous or life-threatening; just odd.

Finally, he gathered himself enough to remember where he was, who he was, when he was.

'Haruhi,' he breathed, his lips pulling into a soft grimace.

His left arm was completely numb. But somehow he managed to force himself into a crouched position, and with immense support from the glass-covered bathtub – the pain didn't seem to register anymore – he stood up and took two rash steps towards the door.

Kaoru laughed eerily again at his recklessness. _There's glass everywhere! _

He reached out for the doorknob; twisting the lock and drawing open the door. An oddly familiar tinkle of glass resonated against the pale white tiles as the floating mahogany edge scraped against the solid debris.

Kaoru leaned against the door frame for a second, wincing slightly as a cold, heavy numbness began to spread through his right arm, pulling down his shoulder; accentuated only by a sharp pain streaming from the wrist to elbow.

Then he saw her, crouching under the table shivering every few seconds, eyes tightly shut.

* * *

><p>~OvO~<p>

Someone threw a pen across the room. It rapped sharply against the desk before bouncing off and landing with an unheard clatter somewhere in the corner. The ginger-haired teenage boy sitting at said desk twitched irritably. The hubbub in the classroom was dull, but it pressed down on his ears like an incessantly annoying song he hated, played on repeat with a jackhammer. Hikaru groaned; he wanted to go and smash his head against a wall.

Students were laughing…far too happily.

It had been several weeks since he had first been thrown into this prestigious public school full of smart people who were surprisingly all really friendly; it was just Hikaru who felt anti-social. He threw his bag onto the floor with unnecessary force, he snapped at people and he glared at people who dared to look at him weirdly; he did everything with unnecessary force, really.

He knew Kaoru wouldn't be pleased if he knew he was behaving like this, _but Kaoru wasn't around was he?_ Hikaru sighed sadly, he wasn't mad at Kaoru; he was mad at everyone else for being between them.

Worse than the past few weeks of utter torture, today his hand had suddenly twitched and spasmodically flicked the pen he'd been twirling across the room at the speed of sound and whacked the teacher in the face. Refusing to apologise because he hadn't meant any harm – not _really_ – he'd been yelled at and then shunned for the rest of the lesson. Not to mention that his hand ached like hell right now. What was going on?

This place was dull, but at least he was glad no one had requested him to join a stupid club or anything. The classes were easy and if he didn't want to listen, he could just act as if he didn't understand English.

So now he decided to block out the boring drone of his Science teacher's obnoxiously monotonous voice talking about genetics and focus on Kaoru. But no matter how hard he tried to reach out to his twin, his mind just squirmed, bringing up random memories – and making the pain in his hand worse.

* * *

><p>~OvO~<p>

A flash of lightning broke across the darkness and Haruhi instinctively covered her ears expectantly. She hugged her knees tightly with her elbows and pressed her forehead between her arms.

_Oh, why did it have to thunderstorm today whilst I'm at Kaoru's house?_ Haruhi shivered in the cold, focusing on the weaving patterns of the rich dark colour of the study desk and forcing herself to ignore the downpour outside the window.

_Please stop, stop; just stop._ She hid her face in her knees and thought about Japanese homework.

Raindrops continued to pitter-patter against the window panes gently, mocking her. Haruhi focused on the sound of her own short intakes of breath, the whooshing sound in her ears and the distant twinkling stars. Her teeth began to chatter as the fear let the cold air in.

Suddenly, the phone began to ring.

The bathroom door opened and light flooded into the dark room, peeking through Haruhi's closed eyelids and startling her.

A little guitar intro started to blare from the phone's little speakers. Haruhi opened her eyes and looked around for the source of the noise. From her small sanctuary beneath the table, she watched as Kaoru's ghostly figure glided almost gracefully over to the bedside table and picked up the mobile phone.

'Haruhi?' Kaoru whispered. She heard her name as if the breath of a wind had softly drifted into her mind. He stepped towards the bedside table.

His hands looked wet as he answered the call. His voice came out shaky and distant.

Softly, the thunder released a guttural growl, as if it was practising how quietly it could roll a sound in the clouds. Haruhi felt a violent shudder run down her spine nonetheless and she hastily buried her ears within the folds of her trousers again.

Tears slid down the bridge of her nose as the sky lit up. Haruhi couldn't allow herself to be frightened and to worry Kaoru anymore than he already should be, but she couldn't stop herself from violently shivering in disconcert.

Cold hands brushed the top of her head.

Kaoru frowned slightly before standing up and reaching for a pair of headphones resting behind two heavy books on mathematics that he had located the other day. He gently placed them over Haruhi's ears.

Haruhi stared at him in silence and closed her eyes, turning away as her throat became tight and hot wet tears trickled down her cheeks.

Almost absentmindedly, Kaoru lifted his lethargic arms and wiped the tears away with his fingertips, accidentally smearing blood on her pale white cheeks.

She noticed, 'what happened?'

'Accident.'

'I'll call the maids-' Haruhi immediately made to get up and run for help; the overpowering embarrassment and shame that she had been cowering beneath a table in fear from a thunderstorm whilst Kaoru was covered in blood felt like a slap in the face.

He stopped her, seizing her wrist with a speed she could not comprehend in his state. The touch was feather-light but firm in its intention. She glanced down, almost angry. Kaoru shook his head smiling faintly..._like a mad person_. Haruhi pried his red streaked fingers off her wrist and ran out the door just as he passed out on the soft carpet, head leaning precariously against the drawers.

As Haruhi flew down the many flights of steps in the Hitachiin mansion, one thought hammered at her brain like an incessant revelation. Kaoru had handed her a pair of headphones.

_Hikaru's headphones_.

Not everything was gone.

**~OvO~**

* * *

><p><em>AN: the title _Reflections_, is talking about Kaoru's sudden hatred/fear of his own reflection, Kaoru's self reflection and Hikaru - the reflection. I'm sorry because I know I promised it would stop being confusing...and i think i made it worse. I can't make guarantees but I will try my best to clear it up from now on. :(_

_Thanks to: MISCharacter, Swiedish-Fish, and Miss know-all for reviewing/story alerting/favourite storying this story. :) and my awesome beta for putting up with my mood swings and many revisings. thnx bro!_

_Chapter 7 Preview: Hikaru felt like his whole world had been swept from beneath him like a tablecloth in a parlour trick. As summer approaches, several boxes appear on his doorstep with mailing stamps all the way from Japan. His belongings. It's almost ironic that even when separated, they can't be told apart; because they're never truly apart. _


	7. Brother

_OMG. It's been more than a month. I'm so very very very sorry to all those who have been getting impatient with me or have already forgotten what's been going on. :/ School is like trying to kill me, but now I've finally finished and I can start updating regularly again! :) _

_This chap's for those amazing people who have joined those awesome ones that have reviewed/story alerted this story!  
>By name: WeaselChiin, Uchiha's Werewolf67, Burning Ice Freezing Flame, .Uchiha.X, TheMoonShinesBrightly, GoPlayInTrafficxox and MNLMFangirl! <em>

_:') _

_Disclaimer: i'm just going to live in a fantasy world where even though i don't own it, i get to meet them everyday. :3 in this universe, Bisco Hatori is the almighty ruler._

* * *

><p><strong>~Brother~<strong>

The blue pen hovered on the edge of oblivion, balancing on the border between life and death. Which way it went now depended on the volatile mood of one particular red-headed teen by the name of Hikaru…

A gathering of cumulus dotted the horizon, peeking out from behind the whitewashed window frames and overshadowing the few words doodled in his English workbook.

Hikaru sighed.

He picked up said pen and spun it nonsensically on the desk as the teacher spun off on an anecdote about language techniques and essay formats. It was difficult not to think about Kaoru. Absent-mindedly kicking his school bag beneath the desk at a steady rhythm, Hikaru blocked out the enthusiastic teacher's voice and drifted off tiredly.

Eventually, he became aware of the loud chatter flowing around the room and he lifted his head from the sheet of paper, refocusing away from his daydreaming.

Rather stiffly, Hikaru turned to look at the student on his left.

A petite girl with light brown hair streaming down to her waist was quietly dozing off as well, cradling her head in her arms, sleepy eyes facing him. She looked far too curious and amused for his liking.

'Hey, Hikaru?' she said suddenly, her voice louder than he expected, 'what's school in Japan like?'

She spoke in fluent, flowing English and Hikaru scowled at her. It wasn't that he didn't understand; he just didn't want to think about it. For a split second he was tempted to demand how she knew his name, before he remembered that his first two steps into the school grounds had been greeted by a flock of students smiling eagerly and pestering him. He turned away and grimaced.

'I'm Himari,' she cut through his thoughts, uninvited, 'I'm Japanese too, but I've been here all my life, so I think that it's safer for my dignity to speak to you in English.'

He clenched his fists again, almost kicking the table leg in annoyance, quite obviously having not already noticed the poor state of his crumpled schoolbag.

She smiled at him.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Somehow, Hikaru had been dragged into the midst of a small group of teenagers his age sitting casually in an English room for lunch. It felt odd for him to be around _people,_ as his past few weeks of social rejection had left him unaccustomed to company.

'So, what school did you attend in Japan?' It was the girl who had first poked him in class that spoke first. Her voice was soft, yet nonetheless managing to halt all conversation from her best friends; they all turned to face him with transparent curiosity.

'Um…' Hikaru took a step back from the sudden intensity, 'Ouran…'

'That's so cool! I've always wanted to go to Japan! Do you miss your friends there? What are the classes like? I hope our classes aren't completely destroying your brain because they've completely killed me already,' another girl standing next to Himari chirped, speaking at a high frequency that irritatingly reminded Hikaru of Renge Houshakuji.

Like a flock of birds shyly approaching a dangerous but alluring predator, Himari's friends slowly edged toward him to the point where each answer they received encouraged them to step closer and closer until they were practically bombarding him with a full background check.

Two minutes of interrogation later, the blinds were thrown upwards and burning summer sunlight poured into the room. Himari gracefully switched off the lights and the group of friends settled into a softer peal of relaxed mingling. She then walked over to Hikaru who had awkwardly taken a seat on the sidelines, reluctantly fidgeting with the lunch his assigned maid had prepared for him earlier that morning.

It was so strange here; to be away from Ouran. He almost missed the constant romanticism flowing from Tamaki's mouth every second he spoke…_Nah…_ Hikaru smiled to himself faintly and shook his head ever so slightly, _you can't miss that stuff._

'What's so funny?'

Hikaru looked at her blankly, wondering why she reminded him of Haruhi, just less antagonistic. He found himself a little bothered by this; he'd found Haruhi's constant derogatory comments towards the lord rather endearing.

'Your English is really good for someone who's only just been here for a few weeks,' she commented lightly.

Hikaru hesitated slightly before answering, 'my brother and I used to travel a lot.' _Used to. _

Himari didn't seem to notice the slight change in his expression, nor see the fleeting pain flicker in his eyes, 'Oh! I have a brother too, but he's a nuisance.' She laughed as if it was the most normal thing in the world to have an annoying brother.

Scowling heavily, Hikaru bit back a snappish retort. _Kaoru_ had never been a nuisance. The world was a nuisance for forcing them apart. Three weeks of frightening students away with his ferocious growls had obviously become boring as Himari barely flinched beneath his suddenly murderous glare.

'Where's your brother now? Did he get into another school?'

_Enough with the questions; Kaoru's gone and I'm never going to feel better or less guilty._ Hikaru looked down at his already severely scuffed brand-new shoes – probably because he kept kicking things in frustration – and avoided Himari's innocently questioning stare.

She was just trying to be nice and a lifetime of watching Kaoru being nice to others was making him feel worse for being so rude to everyone.

Hikaru took a deep breath quietly.

Strands of arrogance were battling with a wave of guilt and respect for Kaoru in his brain, launching an epic war for social righteousness. Finally, he looked up with a fiery sadness that he'd been holding back ever since his mother had first told him, and spoke quietly, his voice ringing with a finality he wished just wasn't there.

'He's dead.'

Blinking back tears that had conveniently appeared as if triggered by a mental military whistle, Hikaru stood up and stalked out of the room as quickly as he could without offending Himari.

As he practically ran through the door, hatred and anger flew back into his system and he kicked the wall impulsively to let it out; all that happened was a shocking pain that punched his toes.

_Real _smart_, Hikaru, _he thought bitterly as he stomped off.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

'Hikaru, I'm sorry I asked.'

The soft and already too familiar voice of Himari hovered from behind him, chagrined and clearly upset. Hikaru said nothing but continued to stare down into the gurgling creek, two metres beneath his school shoes. He came here every day; ever since he had first discovered the inevitable truth that he was suddenly and cruelly alone, rejecting company just to stare at the sky and wonder if Kaoru was happy somewhere Hikaru couldn't find him.

'If it helps…you can talk to me about it.'

He felt her sitting down next to him on the little wooden bridge. It struck him as slightly odd that everyone had left him alone for several weeks before this girl had decided to disturb him one day. For a while, he had been glad of his deportation to a foreign place where nobody knew him. It would have been beyond his patience to have put up with the patronising sympathy of the host club clients. Kyouya-senpai wouldn't have been pleased at all. At the time it hadn't bothered him one bit; for as alone as he felt, he wanted to relish it as punishment for his failure as an older brother.

Himari glanced at him and sighed, figuring it was probably a bad idea seeking to sit with the most temperamental boy she'd ever met, but he didn't _seem_ like a bad person.

Glancing downwards, she noticed his fingernails digging into the splintering wooden bridgework and a troubled calm contradicting his features.

'What was he like?'

_She doesn't give up does she? _Hikaru rolled his eyes and sardonically laughed to an imaginary mental Kaoru. _That's all you are; just a psychological illusion. Brilliant, now I'm talking to my own brain. _

'From your expression earlier, he's probably much better than my brother,' Himari smiled sadly, keeping up the one-sided conversation.

'What's your brother like?' Hikaru tried to shift the conversation away from Kaoru, even if his aptitude at subject-changing wasn't the best.

'Never stops talking really, he _always_ butts in and interrupts people.'

_Not at all like you, Kaoru. _

'But you love him, don't you?' he sighed, knowing that with most siblings this was the hardest thing to admit.

Himari frowned a little, 'I guess. It sounds like you loved your brother a lot.'

'Still do.'

A small turtle crept up onto the moist pebbles below their dangling feet, sucking in a delicious breath of fresh air as the two students above calmly talked about their brothers. A duck waddled over curiously, curving its elegant white neck towards the tiny brown creature with slight amusement. Before the turtle could think of a defence tactic, the duck grew bored and waddled off with soft quacks accentuating its every webbed footstep.

'I've seen you sitting here every day after school. Did you move after it happened?'

She was very perceptive, Hikaru decided. The duck nodded its surprised approval as a piece of bread flew towards it from the hand of a little girl in two short ponytails.

'Tell me if you're uncomfortable with what I'm asking, but, how did it happen?'

Flinch.

Uncontrollable memories of Kaoru's bloodied face in the upside-down limousine smiling at him before they passed out, Kaoru's pale and relaxed visage in the emotionless hospital, Kaoru lying unresponsive beneath Hikaru's frightened stare and lastly…their mother pulling him away from Kaoru after he stupidly and impulsively kissed him in front of her, to be dragged away by doctors and nurses with their evil injections of morphine.

'It was a car crash. I survived and Kaoru…' his voice broke off painfully.

'Oh.'

They sat in silence for several minutes as Himari let him wallow in misery and depression; just letting the tears flow freely. She didn't judge him, but as she had lost her grandparents whom she had been very close with at a young age, she could almost empathise.

Finally, she spoke again with a polite request, 'could I see what um…Kaoru…looks like?'

Hikaru looked up at her, the slightest quirk of irony in his melting amber eyes. He reached into the pocket of his trouser pants, digging for his wallet. Himari waited patiently, expecting him to locate a photograph of a red-haired boy with similar features in his wallet, kept close as relatives do.

What she didn't expect, was for Hikaru to hold out his ID card, with the name _Hikaru Hitachiin_ printed clearly on the side, nor was she prepared for how much Kaoru looked like his brother.

'That's him.'

**~OvO~**

* * *

><p><em>AN: That was a short chapter - it's because I'm not sure how Hikaru should be feeling, and I'm a bit lost with Kaoru too - ONE MONTH BREAKS = BAD. __For that reason, I can't provide a Chapter Summary this time round. Especially since one of my previous ones were inaccurate, I'm kind of scared of writing another bogus summary. :( Oh and if anyone likes the previous fluff pieces, you can send me some suggestions :) _

_FOR THOSE FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW ABOUT **HIMARI**: She's just a random OC and she won't influence the story that much, she's kind of like a shoulder for Hikaru to cry on - nothing happens between them. :/ maybe i shouldn't be spoiling this info (hey, anything to stop you guys from LEAVING ME!). _

_Thanks again anyone who reads this story (and the super long Author's Notes =3="), and my awesome betareader who has to put up with me sending her random bits of brainless writing at 1:30 AM and asking her_ not to judge me_. :( forgive me for that. _

_P.S. Reviewers! I'd really _love_ it if you signed in so I could reply to you and thank you seriously or answer some questions or respond to your comments. Anyone got some story ideas; tell me. I'm sorry if I can't include everything, but I'd love some suggestions. :) _

_PREPARE FOR CHAPTER 8. Coming soon to this fanfiction. _

_- Lola :)_


	8. Identity

I'm so bad with deadlines, humblest apologies lovely readers. and i actually uploaded this last night, for some reason Fanfiction took it off again :/

This whole story is for my readers! Thanks to the newcomers on the bandwagon since Chapter 7: _Surgical Rose, Natalie, Bob, crazerthanyou and xxxMaliceandMiseryxxx _whose opinion i agree with ;D

Disclaimer: Kudos to Hatori Bisco, whom without her awesome brain, we would not be able to gawk at the host club members.

Let's start this chapter with a little memory piece: Our awesome Hitachiin twins have just returned from a skiing holiday in Switzerland with lots of chocolate for tasting, but Hikaru's mad at his younger twin for reasons unknown. :D so how does Kaoru respond to his grumpy temperamental bro...?

* * *

><p><strong>~Identity~<strong>

'_Holidays are boring,_' _Kaoru thought as flipped open a flat rectangular box and sat down on the living room rug. Picking up the remote, he began playing whatever movie had last been inserted into the device. _

_Lying calmly on his stomach, he selected a lump-shaped piece of chocolate from the recently bought assortment and took a small bite, concentrating on skipping past the title menu. As the production introductions thundered through the mansion, Kaoru ran for the kitchen and stole a small bottle of maple syrup. _

_As he settled into a comfortable position, he caught the sounds of stealthy barefooted footsteps making their way across the tiles. Hikaru had reluctantly snuck down the stairs to spy on his younger brother who was carelessly ignoring him. Kaoru smirked slightly as he noticed Hikaru's auburn-coloured spikes peeking out from behind the pure white paint. He would wait until Hikaru gave up on the cold shoulder punishment; it was clear that it wouldn't last much longer._

'_Hikaru, don't eat the chocolates on the rug, you'll spill maple syrup everywhere,' their mother waltzed in carrying a large sketch pad before her, dressed in a colourful casual skirt and shirt, barely paying attention as she gently scolded "Hikaru" into using tables._

_Kaoru smiled and nodded, 'Sure, Mum.' In a swift motion he relocated the rich dark chocolate truffles onto the glass tea table and plopped himself onto the white divan. Somewhere around the corner, the real Hikaru growled unpleasantly. _

_Hearing the little growl, Kaoru glanced steadily towards where he knew Hikaru was spying on him, and winked, stuffing another chocolate in his mouth. _

_He'd give it another half an hour before his brother caved in; plenty of time to eat all the chocolates._

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Kaoru rubbed his eyes sleepily and yawned, stretching out his stiff limbs. How long had he been asleep?

The burning midday sun fought furiously with the heavy curtains lining their whitewashed window frames, desperately losing the battle to reach the drowsy boy. With great amusement, Kaoru slid off his silk sheets and onto the carpet, examining the bandages wrapped tightly around his hand. Odd white pieces were plastered on his face and arms where several feelings of soreness poked him roughly.

_Ouch. What did I do? _

He remembered standing before the mirror, and smashing it with his bare hands. A vivid memory of his reflection in a fluid motion seizing him by the arm and dragging him into the glassy surface replayed.

Kaoru shook his head of what he assumed was simply a nightmare.

It was awkwardly silent in his bedroom. He could hear the analogue clock arms caressing the seconds as they passed, each moment resounding in a solitary _tick. _Birds were neglecting the expected peace of awakening; it was too silent. It pressed against his skull.

Taking a deep breath to blow away the uncomfortableness, Kaoru walked over to his desk. A pile of maths and chemistry homework sat innocently in a mountain of terror next to an inviting stack of books he was reading.

Finally, he noticed the small piece of white paper ripped out of a workbook bearing a simple message:

_Hi Kaoru, are you okay? I'm assuming you're awake if you're reading this. Your parents asked me to stay and keep you company so if you need me apparently I'm staying in the guest room. Who knows where in your house that is, but I think you do. – Haruhi. _

So Haruhi was still here. Judging by the time, she was probably doing something boring. Kaoru decided not to bother her but to begin devouring the tower of books-to-read. A little smugly, he figured that it was certainly out of the question to begin on homework whilst he was indisposed like this.

However, as he leaned forward, his fingers snatched up the copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ that Kyouya had left for him in the hospital.

The edges of the paper were sticking together, and Kaoru growled at the book as he attempted to open the little novel to the first page. As he lay stomach down horizontally across his bed to read the first few sentences, he grew bored and instead attempted to skim-read the entire book.

Catching only vague lines and phrases, he soon grew irritated at the amount of pencilled scribbling that had tarnished the storyline. Half, he recognised as his own handwriting talking about concepts and techniques in neat little Japanese paragraphs. Then there were the all-over-the-place notes that were barely relevant to the book, but instead seemed to be talking directly to Kaoru, drawn in an odd script Kaoru couldn't recognise.

Had he lent the book to someone and forgotten about it? It didn't seem to explain the countless messages attached to almost every second paragraph.

_"Ne, what does this mean, Kao?" _ One of the notes read, written next to a random piece of dialogue.

Kaoru plopped the book back onto the sheets with an exasperated sigh. He slid open the first page and stared at his own name inscribed atop the title page. Gently, his fingers ran the soft furry tear that had scratched away a portion of his name. A distant memory was lingering on the borders of his consciousness, but he just couldn't reach out to it. Kaoru frowned and equalled it to trying to remember a dream that had slipped away the moment he had become aware of its existence.

He sighed again and dropped his head on the blankets, groaning at his own curiosity.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

'_That's him.'_

'Kaoru's your _twin _brother?' Himari asked, her eyes widening in surprise as she contemplated it, 'Wow.'

Hikaru nodded grimly, letting his arm drop weakly back to his side, slipping the card back into his pocket. It was probably really stupid to the nuisance of a world out there, but it still bothered him to no end that they had used _Kaoru's_ student photo on _his_ ID card. Though he had placed the card back into his pocket, in his mind, he could still see the small square profile shot of Kaoru smiling sweetly at the camera during school photos.

It was then that Himari tilted her head slightly, carefully considering the resemblance between the two of them, 'is it just me, or did they stick _his_ photo on your ID card?'

_She noticed. _Hikaru ran his fingers through his hair, flipping the style into a mirror image of his norm, and turned to face the wide-eyed girl, 'we used to wear our hair opposite, Kaoru would be like this.'

He smiled slightly before shaking his hair lightly. Himari watched as it fell naturally back into its elegantly messy spikes, Hikaru-style.

A quiet awkward moment of silence passed, and then Himari glanced at the time.

'Hey, I've got to go home before I get caught for being late,' Himari sighed, standing up slowly and dusting the wooden splinters away from the stiff fabric of her school skirt, speaking in a polite and quiet voice, 'I'll see you tomorrow, Hikaru-kun.'

He nodded, half-amused that she'd added the honorific in an English context.

Out of his peripheral vision, Hikaru watched as Himari lightly skipped away across the bridge and down the street, dashing past pedestrians. As she rounded the corner out of sight, he saw her take a glance at her watch and hasten immediately.

Like a mimicking doll, Hikaru awkwardly raised his left wrist and glanced at the time. It was later than he thought, but it wasn't like he was expected back at the summer mansion – or as he should now call it, home.

He sighed, letting out all the air he'd been unconsciously holding in whilst talking about Kaoru, the restrained feeling in his lungs dissipated but the clenching in his chest remained. He felt unbelievably foolish, sitting here on a bridge and drowning in his own sorrow, chucking waves of despair at some poor girl who had chosen to pass by.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Kaoru sat on the windowsill, still slightly perturbed by the little notes in his book. For a moment as he stared into the garden he considered calling Kyouya; after all it had been Kyouya-senpai who had given him the book in the hospital with that cryptic look in his eyes...then he remembered what time it was. Kaoru doubted that the King would be very happy if he called the host club instead of getting some rest.

A quiet paper scuffle beneath his thigh sent him reeling in surprise and he fell off the small seating space, staring in bewilderment at what he had sat on by accident.

It was a blue paper crane. Half squashed since he had sat on it unawares, but otherwise a roughly folded origami crane fashioned out of cheap blue craft paper. Kaoru picked it up, wondering when it had been placed there, sure that it wasn't there before his return from the hospital. Under its left wing, written in inky black pen was his name: _Kaoru Hitachiin._

However defunct and normal this miniature paper crane seemed... the handwriting was the same as the unknown writer in his copy of _Pride and Prejudice_.

It seemed that wherever he went, he was going to be haunted by this mystery person.

**~OvO~**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Wow that was a short one. A little rushed, I wrote it in a few hours. :/_

_Fun fact: Kaoru's copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ is described from my personal copy, which i took from a school recycling bin, since they'd chucked it out after having it since 1980 and it looks pretty much just like how i described it (without Kaoru's name being in it of course). _

_I'm planning on writing a New Year's special fluff piece (and MAYBE a Christmas special) so keep an eye open for it._

_THANK YOU my lovely readers out there for spending your time here :) i really appreciate it. Thanks to my annoying-but-still-awesome beta, Vaneffle. :D Thanks to all those who have been PM-ing me as well! MERRY CHRISTMAS! HOHOHO (Enter Renge Houshakuji...)_

_Anyone who would love to share a Christmas treat, all I want for Christmas, is some REVIEWS that have some ideas on what will happen next! :D i have_ no _idea. please tell me. A billion thank yous and mountains of maple syruped chocolates from Switzerland! :D_

_Early Christmas__ Present:_

My Mum's Idea of an Ending:  
><em>Hikaru decides to swim across the ocean from Bondi Beach (in Sydney, because i know i never mentioned it but he got shipped off to Australia coz I know the terrain), to Japan. He rides a dolphin, is almost eaten by a shark, is ambushed by Japanese naval forces sent by his parents and is accidentally dropped on a hospital in Tokyo which coincidentially is the hospital that Kaoru has been settled into after another accident. Upon awakening from his slumber, Kaoru's memories return and they hug. THE END. <em>

_If anyone loved that ending, please tell me, and I'll write a separate ending for you. :)_


	9. New Year's Eve

_I'm sorry, I know I'm really late but I was super busy around New Year and i had severe writer's block too so here's my belated New Year's Special. _

_Set at the end of the Hitachiin's first year with the Host Club; I couldn't be specific with the year because obviously it's hard to say, but they're around 15-16 i think. It's not that well written and I wrote it in a rush, finishing it at some ungodly hour in the morning and i have just pulled an allnighter by accident because my brain refuses to shut up. so sleepy... here you go, Happy New Year everyone and I hope it's a good year. :) Any New York readers, apologies at the ending author's note. _

_IMPORTANT NOTE: This isn't fully part of the story, you could say it's another memory from the twins' past. There are a few key aspects in it that are part of the story, but you don't need to know this to read the rest of it. It's just a New Year's special._

* * *

><p><strong>~New Year's Eve~<strong>

It was a few nights before New Year's Eve.

Kaoru rested his head against the cold glass and watched as his breath fogged up the icy window. The soothing cool temperature felt nice against his warm blushing cheeks as he sat indoors with the heaters radiating steady bursts of warmth. Dusty white snow coated every upward-facing surface that he could see from his view of the outside world, and it was as if their garden had become bare and sprinkled with fine icing sugar.

In the distance, as the tip of Kaoru's nose brushed the surface of the window when he turned his head, he saw the faintest glimpse of Christmas lights from households that had not yet taken them down. He sighed and another cloudy puff billowed onto the glass.

'Kaoru?'

Hikaru walked in and sat opposite to the younger twin, placing his feet against Kaoru's so they were mirror images leaning against the frosting windowpane. They sat in a companionable silence while the sleepy Kaoru closed his eyes and listened to the sound of distant ambience and his brother's quiet breathing.

He was really quite tired; it was getting late into the night, but Kaoru wanted to stay up and see the last sights of the year before they faded into the next. Trying really hard to keep his eyes open had failed, so he resorted to shutting them in a peaceful manner so that it appeared he was simply resting instead of falling asleep. Kaoru could feel that Hikaru was staring at him curiously, but he ignored the nagging feeling to open his eyes. It seemed to be working, or so he thought, as he happily allowed the faraway echoes of traffic weaving through the streets to resound in his mind.

Meanwhile, the fidgeting older brother tilted his head as his head hosted a furious inner battle on a topic that had suddenly become very intriguing; was his brother asleep and should he carry him to bed, running the risk of a scolding when Kaoru protested?

_Better to check first, _he decided with a grin. Shifting on the cold windowsill, Hikaru gently nudged his brother with his toe and whispered in a soft breath, 'Kaoru, are you awake?'

'Hmm?' Kaoru blearily forced his eyes open, restraining a yawn and glancing at his brother who suddenly reappeared by his right side, peering at him, only inches away from his nose.

'What did you want to do on New Year's Eve?'

There was a short pause in which Kaoru considered his few thoughts on the topic, before shaking his head, 'I have no idea.'

As Hikaru stood leaning against the wall scheming, Kaoru yawned, unable to hold it back any longer. He slumped against the freezing cold window and drifted off; waiting for Hikaru to either make a decision for New Year's Eve or, in the more likely event, carry him to bed, as he currently felt completely unwilling to move himself.

Feigning an exhausted slumber wasn't difficult; he _was_ exhausted, after running around the house for hours, helping the maids take down the seemingly endless Christmas decorations and then accidentally starting a food fight with Hika when his fingers slipped on the slice of cucumber he was about to eat, _somehow_ hurtling the projectile several feet across the large kitchen and hitting his brother with a pathetic little smack on the forehead.

He had run for it the moment he'd caught sight of Hikaru's dark expression and the first irresistible chuckle had burst out of his mouth, grabbing a bowl of fruit as he went for ammunition. Hence the food fight…

Kaoru smirked slightly as he remembered the quiet thwack of cold wet cucumber against twin.

'What's so funny?' the attacked-by-a-cucumber-brother asked curiously.

Accidental-thrower-of-said-cucumber-Kaoru smiled innocently and ignored the question, knowing that Hikaru's wounded pride wouldn't be as amused, 'how do you feel about watching the fireworks somewhere different this year? I feel like escaping from the host club for a while, since Tamaki-senpai's been at us all year.'

'Hmm... Good idea.'

Hikaru frowned thoughtfully, absent-mindedly rubbing his forehead as he considered the most famous places around the world where the best New Year displays were said to be a sight to behold. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Kaoru's smirk widen.

'Seriously, tell me what's so funny.'

'I was thinking about recruiting a cucumber army.' Kaoru stated as calmly as he could, turning away from Hikaru so that he wouldn't see the grin on his face.

'Okay, I was just training my carrots to march,' Hikaru played sarcastically, scowling a little, 'so how about New York?'

'Sure, as long as we can bring my cucumber army.'

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

'Are you _seriously packing cucumbers?_' Hikaru yelped when he uncovered the airtight lunchbox in their shared luggage, 'I honestly don't think customs is going to like this.'

'I've found your weakness,' Kaoru sweetly held up a cucumber to Hikaru's face, 'so I'm definitely bringing it along.' He calmly shoved the box back into the suitcase.

'It's not a weakness! You just happened to hit me in the head with one – by _accident_; that doesn't count.'

Kaoru shrugged nonchalantly and continued neatly folding his favourite outfits into the compact travelling case, placing them into his half of the interior, next to his brother's.

Two days remained until New Year's Eve.

The younger twin slowly waltzed through the mansion, collecting things he wanted to bring on the trip, finding games he thought they might play on the plane or locating a lost sock in the laundry. Kaoru suspected that during his prowling hunt for packing essentials, Hikaru was stealthily removing the box of cucumbers. He smiled, not really minding; it was amusing enough to watch Hikaru being so irritated by the very mention of a vegetable.

A few hours later, which included a minor delay when Hikaru decided to bring his own lunchbox of carrots until an exasperated Kaoru relinquished his cucumbers back to the mercy of the maids, the Hitachiin twins and their valet escaped the confines of the indoors and settled into the waiting limousine that would take them to the airport.

_It had been one slice. Imagine the potential power of a whole cucumber. _Kaoru thought devilishly to himself as he leant peacefully against the darkly tinted windows, anticipating the long flight ahead.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

The gleaming private plane growled pleasantly as the crew prepared for the long flight ahead. Kaoru sighed as he wandered around onboard, waiting for the seatbelt signs to limit him to the limb-numbingly comfortable seat next to his brother. It was almost unreal that they were leaving on a last second impulse, but they had become so accustomed to their own self-concerned whims that it didn't bother either of them.

As Kaoru made his fifth circle from one end of the plane to the other, Hikaru seized him playfully around the waist and dragged him back into the seat, 'stop pacing, you're driving me insane.'

Kaoru laughed and instead pulled out a stack of brightly coloured commoner origami paper that Haruhi had given to him for Christmas, passing half the pile to Hikaru before returning to his own, carefully selecting a perfect warm orange square.

The afternoon sunlight streamed in through the undrawn windows, refracting in the thick reinforced glass, filling the cabin and harmlessly overpowering the small overhead passenger reading lights.

Slowly and steadily, the plane glided across the tarmac, gaining speed until finally, with a shift in gravity, the wheels lurched them upward into the air.

As Kaoru calmly – if not slightly recklessly – folded the starting creases into the paper, he glanced over to see Hikaru rapidly engaging his piece of paper into what seemed like an epic battle between human and paper. Even so, Kaoru could tell the end result was going to be a paper crane of some sort.

Neither of them gave any notion to the fact that it was almost New Year's Eve.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Blue light flooded the darkness, illuminating the hundreds of thousands of people waving and screaming as they bounced excitedly with the background music in anticipation of the New Year. It seemed like there was almost no space left to manoeuvre through the pulsing crowds.

Kaoru leant back, staring upward in wonder as he took in all the hype of the evening; sliding his numbered novelty glasses onto his forehead and blinking several times to stare at the intoxicating colours and pounding music. A light tug on his wrist forced him another few metres closer to Times Square as Hikaru pulled him between two separate groups of friends.

As they pushed through the crammed tinned fish-like gathering of people, the clock ticked closer to midnight; towards the inevitable New Year.

Hikaru panicked as he looked at his watch, continuing to ignore the protests of the throng of celebrating gatherers, sliding furiously through all the smallest gaps towards the main podium as speeches were made for national broadcast with smiling presenters eagerly announcing famous guests, the excitement riding higher as the night drew darker. Extremely glad that he had tied their wrists together so that Kaoru wouldn't get lost, Hikaru glanced back at one point to see the back of Kaoru's slightly squashed auburn spiky hair and left arm extended in an odd fashion; handcuffed to Hikaru's right. Knowing that when they returned home there would be an album of at least a thousand photos on that small portable camera – clearly visible in Kaoru's other unbound hand – Hikaru rolled his eyes and jerked his arm forward, hearing a yelped protest as Kaoru narrowly avoided tripping over a young teenage girl who looked at him with wildly confused brown eyes as he apologised whilst blowing past at Super Hikaru speed.

High up above the Square, a glittering sphere of colour-changing lights stole centre stage, teetering atop its flagpole, just waiting for the last minute before 12. Kaoru found himself staring breathlessly at the Times Square Ball as it sparkled and shone against the black night sky, disregarding the hidden stars with all human eyes gravitating towards its glamorous surface. At least five other people were pressed up against him in the compressed space as he stood so close to the front. To his left, Hikaru glanced at his watch again.

Music blared from the speakers that were spread amongst the streets, fighting against the screams and cheers as the button for the ball drop was brought into the spotlight.

Suddenly, a wild uproar wavered through the populace as everyone gasped animatedly when they noticed the ball beginning its gradual but rapid descent.

In the last minute before the New Year, Hikaru and Kaoru roguishly grinned at each other, fingers gently touching as they waited, listening to the barely audible hosts brightly speaking through the microphone, and dodging the wild audience as they bounced impatiently.

Seemingly as if there was no time to register when the last minute had begun, the gatherers felt a sense like time was literally flying by, with the seconds blurring past, when the last ten seconds flashed onto the screen and a raucous echo flooded the city to count down the final seconds of the year, and celebrate the beginning of a new year full of hopes, challenges, changes and dreams.

'10!'

_Wow it's starting. _

All around, men and women alike were shouting in unison as the numbers rapidly flew by. Time had no patience for suspense.

'6!'

Anticipation reigned.

'5...'

'4...'

'3...'

'2...'

The air was filled with a loud intake of breath as everyone quickly drew breath for the finale.

'1!'

The ball hit the bottom, gleaming brilliantly for a millisecond of hesitation.

Then, in a singular moment, a roar blasted out as millions of people yelled _HAPPY NEW YEAR_ simultaneously, embracing complete strangers in an overwhelming happiness that exploded, carried on the thousands of streamers that magically floated down into the sea of blue below.

_No way, it can't be New Year already._ Kaoru let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding as someone seized him around the waist and jumped up and down excitedly hugging him like an insane person. It took another second before he realised it was Hikaru – which clearly explained the slightly annoying tug on his wrist.

'Happy New Year!' they shouted in each other's faces over the mind-blowingly loud screams of ecstatic revellers.

Hikaru reached into his pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled blue paper crane. With a satisfied smile, he passed it to Kaoru and whispered the same words everyone else was shouting to the whole world, _'happy new year, I love you.' _

For the moment, Kaoru couldn't care less that they were in New York in the famous One Times Square; he was convinced that both of them would be happy as long as they were with each other. The younger twin drew his brother closer and affectionately kissed him on the cheek.

'Let's make this the best year yet.'

**~OvO~**

* * *

><p><em>AN: it got a bit jumpy, but that's the best i can do with writer's block :/ my next chapter should be up by next week, i'm really busy in the next few days, it's absolutely insane. DEEPEST SINCEREST APOLOGIES to all New Yorkers or anyone who's actually personally seen the Times Square Ball Drop and think I'm a terrible describer. I actually got inspiration for this NYE special from watching _New Year's Eve_ the movie and a bit of vague internet research so my references probably aren't that accurate. I watched a bit of it live on the internet but that was like 2-4 hours before the actual ball drop. _

_Reviews and corrections especially are welcome! :) free virtual cucumber to throw at Hikaru for anyone who reviews. :D_

_thanks to everyone who's been supporting me in 2011, special thanks to _LaMindy_ who i haven't had time to PM, but thanks for being so nice in your review :') my mum seemed to take great victory in that people liked her ending,_ _ who has joined the bandwagon ;D and _iDaringx3 _for reviewing! _

_In the words of Kaoru Hitachiin, let's make this the best year yet. :)_


	10. Missed & Found

_D: I know I said I would update by last week and this is no excuse - but i spilt milk all over my laptop like an idiot, and the result was a disastrous loss of my 'a', 'd', and 'x' keys. i thought it would be worse because at the time my touch mouse pad died as well, but it's recovered now. As you can see I can type now, but it's because I'm temporarily borrowing my mum's wireless keyboard. :/ so it's because of my clumsiness, that i've been delayed so badly. :( sorry!_

_Anyhow, here's the promised chapter 9 (not counting the NYE special as an actual chapter) and we're starting to get the plot moving! bit of a longer chapter. acknowledgements at the bottom.._

_thanks everyone! :) please forgive me._

_Disclaimer: BISCO HATORI. that is all._

* * *

><p><strong>~Missed &amp; Found~<strong>

Himari dragged her younger brother out of the house and onto the streets of Tokyo. Summer holidays were barely starting in the southern hemisphere and she was already experiencing the chill of spending it in Japan's winter. She regretted having to leave her friends without her for the rest of the summer, but she was eager to escape the sweltering heat.

Pulling a scarf around her neck, she trotted along with no idea where she was really heading, leading her reluctant but playful brother along behind her. She approached a distant park bench dusted lightly with the first signs of frost and sat down, releasing a deep breath and watching the puff of warm air billowing away in a visible cloud.

'Himari, let's play a game,' her brother, William, pulled on her arm impatiently.

'Play by yourself, you're seriously annoying me.'

She pulled out a pair of earphones and stuffed them into her ears pointedly, blocking out the sound of her obnoxious brother's voice. Sitting there in the cold midst of a small public park, Himari found herself wondering where Hikaru's friends lived.

At that very moment, a familiar-looking ginger-haired teenage boy walked past, following the pedestrian walkway with several books in one hand, seemingly so effortlessly carefree. Himari stared at him, several silly errant thoughts occurring to her. Finally, she stuffed her earphones into her pocket and jumped up after him, yanking William with her, just in case he wandered off.

'Hikaru?'

The tall student paused in his brisk pace with a shudder of surprise, turning around and looked at her, blinking several times in confusion with two owlish liquid honey eyes. She ran the last few steps.

'Hey, why didn't you tell me you were coming to Japan as well?' Himari gasped enthusiastically.

'Um…sorry…do I know you?' he asked in suddenly effortless English, eyes sparkling with slight curiosity and a familiar twinkle of devilishness.

* * *

><p><em>A few minutes earlier...<em>

Kaoru trudged through the cold weather, slightly unnerved that the wind had decided to pick up and catch him outside without a jacket. He clutched the books carefully, not at all wanting to drop the revision booklets that Haruhi had demanded he borrow from the library because his hands froze. He sighed and slowed down his pace, sniffling as winter's icy fingers wrapped themselves around his neck. A painful stinging irked him as his right hand twitched slightly in its bandages and he gently shook his wrist attempting to rid of the unpleasant sensation.

He passed a small local park, offhandedly wondering why anyone would want to sit there on a day like this. Out of his peripheral vision, he noticed a small girl and her brother sitting on the bench, the latter swinging his legs impatiently and very obviously bothering his older sister. Kaoru sighed again, hurrying past as his fingers started to slip.

'Hikaru?'

The name rang in his head as the girl he had just noticed called out to him. Almost impulsively, he turned around. She ran towards him with a pleasantly surprised expression, as if she was greeting an old friend. He didn't recognise her from anywhere. Soft tufts of snow flew up as her shoes tapped against the pavement and a thick orange scarf nestled against her cheek, billowing behind her as she jogged over.

Up close, Kaoru scrutinised the mysterious girl. She seemed somewhat familiar on a subconscious level. However, it was obvious that she had mistaken him for someone else.

'It's me, Himari…I told you I was going to Japan this holiday to visit my relatives, remember?'

'I think you've got the wrong person,' he said with utter clarity, more amused that he was speaking English, than bothered by the presence of this girl.

She stared at him, frozen, and Kaoru could almost sense a little thought train chugging down its brain tracks as she considered what he said. Suddenly, as he stared into her big brown eyes, he remembered.

'Hey, have we met before?' he asked curiously, absolutely sure of the answer; he'd seen her _somewhere_.

Himari, on the other hand, was completely stunned. It was as if Hikaru had lost his memory in the few days since she had seen him on the bridge. The boy opposite her smiled in revelation and his eyes seemed to brighten while she became all the more befuddled.

'I'm definitely sure I've seen you somewhere before,' Kaoru forced his memories to cooperate with this small task, surely it couldn't be that difficult to remember this brown-eyed girl.

All he caught was a lot of screaming and shouting, blue lights illuminating the darkness and feeling insanely amazed.

_The blue crane…_ Kaoru realised it was related to that night somehow, and so was this girl.

'I think it was New Year's Eve, last year in New York?' he felt unsure of his guess, but to his relief, recognition flooded her eyes.

Himari gasped. She remembered waiting patiently in Times Square for night to descend and the ball drop to begin. How could he have known that she had been there?

'I was there, I remember tripping over you by accident,' Kaoru smiled awkwardly, the details slowly coming back to him, and the memory of the wide-eyed look of confusion that was very similar to the one the girl had given him just a few moments ago, 'that was you, wasn't it?'

Running at break-neck speed, Kaoru had been sliding between the crowds. He tried to remember more, but all he could recall was the frozen moment when he'd apologised profusely and a tugging in a sidewards direction. Apart from that, it was all a blank. Irritated by his remaining amnesia, Kaoru narrowly avoided growling aloud.

'Oh, I remember you. Close to midnight, you blew past me like some insane red-headed tornado, throwing apologies at me,' Himari laughed, suddenly remembering the clumsy boy who had tripped over her, 'but someone was dragging you, I remember the glint of a pair of handcuffs.'

_Could it have been his twin, Kaoru? _Himari sought to find the only logical answer.

Kaoru raised his eyebrows at her memory for odd details, and then turned slightly, gesturing for her to follow. He didn't want Haruhi to wait for him to return for too much longer, but he was so curious to find out who this girl was.

'What's your name?'

Himari returned to her previous state of uncertainty, mixed with a sense of wonder that they had coincidentally met before, 'I'm Himari, but you know me already from school, Hikaru.' She stated what she believed to be the obvious, purposely accentuating the _Hikaru._

'Himari-san,' he added the honorific from habit, 'I live here in Japan and I go to school at Ouran High School.'

_He's lost his memories. _She stared at him in horror. _Either that or it could be worse…_

'I'm Kaoru.'

_It's worse._

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

The front door opened with a polite greeting from the maid. Hikaru nodded back gloomily and stepped into the large house, his footsteps echoing eerily in the open modern space. It was really strange considering having to live here for such an extended period of time, instead of treating it as a summer home, as he had before.

As he stepped into the living room, aimlessly swinging his bag off his shoulder and holding it in one hand, he paused in shock when he noticed the new landscape.

'Ah, Hikaru-sama, your belongings have arrived from Japan.'

Several stacks of brown cardboard boxes with numerous stamps and labels bearing down upon the sturdy exterior were stashed neatly in piles; of which the categorisation was undiscernible. All were marked with his name in permanent marker, clearly written in his mother's neat designer script.

Hikaru tossed the already very neglected school bag onto the floor, earning a quiet restrained sigh from his accompanying maid – who scrupulously picked it up for him – and located a pair of material scissors.

He ran over to the first box and began tearing at the sticky tape. As the covers popped open, Hikaru reached in and drew out a crystalline silver photo frame with stylish and fancy embossed letters dancing along the edges. Immediately, he recognised it to have been in their bedroom, sitting atop Kaoru's favourite bookshelf.

But then, why was the frame empty?

_Who took the photo out…?_

Hikaru tossed the empty photo frame back into the box with slight irritation and confusion. It clattered loudly against the other contents as it came to a clumsy stop.

From the resulting updraft, a piece of paper slipped out.

It fluttered erratically onto the expensive carpet, landing face down before him. On an impulse, he picked it up. The texture was tissue-like, too fragile. He felt interested; his imagination ran wild, as if he had found a sliver of treasure map. As he flipped it around, he was met with confusion instead.

_What's a piece of ancient paper with my name on it doing here?_

The single Kanji character sat meekly roughly torn on the edge of the slip. The beginning of another character could be seen peeking out, before the fluffing devoured any clues that would lead him to the rest of the page. How curious.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

'Himari-san, would you like to have tea at my house?' Kaoru asked politely.

In reality, Himari was as curious as Kaoru to find out what the other person's true identity was, so she accepted gracefully. Kaoru led the rest of the way, answering her questions in English until he discovered that she could speak Japanese, and then he started to pester her with an uncanny resemblance to Hikaru.

After the initial shock of seeing the Hitachiin mansion for the first time, Himari struggled to maintain a controlled expression to hide her inner turmoil and stunned feelings. Kaoru immediately headed for the study, nodding at the maids as they passed, to where Haruhi was sifting through his books, frowning at his work and pointless border scribbling.

Haruhi looked up as he entered and smiled curiously at the shy girl in the hallway, inwardly remarking with gratitude that this girl was almost the same height as herself instead of being as freakishly tall as the rest of the host club – apart from Hani-senpai of course.

'Hey, Haruhi, this is Himari, and William,' Kaoru introduced, switching back to Japanese calmly, lightly placing the books onto the desk.

'It's nice to meet you,' Haruhi switched instantly to host mode, grumbling slightly as she realised how much host club had rubbed off onto her.

'I'll get some tea from the kitchen,' Kaoru ran out the door, knowing that he could have just asked the maid to fetch some, but instead allowing for the two girls to talk and not-be-awkward.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Himari stood in the doorway awkwardly for a moment, and then accepted the chairs that Haruhi pulled over for her and her brother. A million questions were buzzing through her mind as she looked over at the short-haired brunette sleepily contemplating a series of sentence structures for an essay.

'Hey, Haruhi-san,' she remembered the honorific, 'is he really…Kaoru?'

Haruhi looked up with raised eyebrows, 'Yes, why?'

'When I first saw him in the park, I thought he was Hikaru-kun.'

A pen dropped onto the carpet as Haruhi froze uncertainly, 'how do you know them?'

There was a slight pause as Himari ordered the rambling thoughts in her head, 'Hikaru, attends my school, and Kaoru, we met by accident last year in New York. It's weird, because Hikaru told me that Kaoru had...died in a car accident.'

Haruhi stared at her so openly that Himari felt slightly uncomfortable under her utterly disbelieving gaze.

Eventually, Haruhi made an impromptu decision, hesitating as she organised her sentence into a mixture of English and Japanese, 'whatever you do, Himari-chan, don't mention Hikaru to him. It's complicated…but I think you should talk to our friend, Kyouya-senpai.'

Kaoru stepped in with a tray of tea with slightly unpractised hands shaking from the weight. Haruhi sighed and took it from him before he could trip over an invisible knot in the rug and spill hot tea everywhere. Being the host club dog, it seemed, had outside-host-club benefits.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Himari left a few hours later, having bothered her sleeping holiday brain into solving a few maths equations and learning new phrases in Japanese just listening to Kaoru and Haruhi discussing away. The afternoon flew by, resulting in several cups of tea and an interesting conversation about the distinction between a host club and a _normal _club.

'Himari, I'm bored,' William tugged on her sleeve impatiently, pulling a stage whisper loud enough that Haruhi and Kaoru both smiled. Kaoru, being the instinctively devilish child he was, instantly had a hundred solutions. So, the day passed without any problems.

Just before Himari and William departed, she pulled out her camera and asked William to take a photo of the three of them, just for something to talk about later, and with every intention of telling her friends about the mysterious twins. Once the shutter clicked and the wrinkle of concentration between William's eyebrows had ceased into a satisfied grin, Kaoru snatched her camera and sprinted from the room, returning a minute later with a satisfied grin, reassuring her that he'd just copied the photo.

'Okay, I'll be leaving now, thanks for having me over,' Himari smiled and waved goodbye, lecturing William into doing the same.

'Bye, Himari-chan! You can come back whenever you like,' Kaoru flourished his forearm emphatically, oblivious to the grumbling Haruhi who had ducked low enough so that his hazard of an arm flew up past her head.

An hour later, when she returned to her grandparents' home, she typed up an email to her friends, writing of the day's adventures and rambling about her coincidental meeting with Kaoru, as well as attaching the photograph of the trio. As she was about to press _Send_, she hesitated, and added Hikaru's name to the recipients list, slightly cautious that she may be subjecting herself to humiliation if she returned to find Hikaru looking ever so smug; a sign that would mean she had been completely fooled, and 'Kaoru' had been nothing but a hoax.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Hikaru was in the middle of disembowelling another box when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

He dropped the stack of books and dug into his trousers for it, noticing that it was an email from Himari. Surprised, Hikaru read the title: _Day 5 in Japan!_

He remembered vaguely that Himari had mentioned she was leaving for Japan in the holidays. A small part of Hikaru flinched unpleasantly, but nevertheless, he opened the email and skimmed it until he reached the part where her eager rant began, and his eyes fell upon a familiar name.

_Today _she wrote_ I ran into a boy named Kaoru. He looks exactly like Hikaru from school. _

It couldn't be _his_ Kaoru, even if he apparently looked like him. Hikaru read on impatiently.

…_he recognised me from last year's New Year's Eve celebrations in New York. I didn't even realise that was him until he mentioned it…_

The coincidence was going a bit too far. Hikaru was slightly unnerved; he remembered their impulsive trip to New York that he and Kaoru had taken the year before to watch the Times Square Ball Drop.

…_and then they invited William and me over for tea, and their house is soooo huge! Turns out that he was studying for maths and chemistry or something with his friend Haruhi…_

Hikaru threw his phone at the opposite wall in shock.

**~OvO~**

* * *

><p><em>AN: If anyone thinks I'm moving a bit too fast...and it's not adding up well...please tell me. This chapter was a little bit rushed as my beta was leaving for overseas and I had to get this to her pronto before her flight. Also...any ideas on how Hikaru should proceed? _

_Reviews are really appreciated! I like to know how my readers are finding this story, and I hope this will be the first multi-chaptered story i will actually FINISH - ever! :O so please help me with that! _

_Thanks to the awesome:_ Aa, kyofan101, Miss Light Bright, XxXYumeXxX _and_ It's Unavoidable _for reviewing/story alerting/favouriting since my New Year's special was released and to my personal Hika-chan, _Vaneffle_ who always makes sure my chapter doesn't come out as twisted as my thought train. :)_

_SUPER LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE I'M SORRY._

_Another notice and then I'm gone: School is starting for me soon, and I'm headed out-of-state for a brief holiday before I begin again, so I might not be able to publish for a while. Bear with me, guys. I swear on my exam marks that I will finish this story with a happy ending by the end of this year (hopefully) ...latest next year when i graduate. If I can, the updates will remain weekly after my semester begins. but till the 30th, don't_ expect_ an update. if a brilliant idea strikes me, I'll do it. but otherwise, sorry guys. :( _

_Again, suggestions are really welcome and it'll help me clear my head after the cloud of random stuff induced from sleeping late dragged onto me. Also I've been reading a lot of _Sherlock_ (the BBC drama) fanfic instead of _Ouran_ so I'm a bit out of practice. _

_If you read all that above, you're amazing. On we hoot!_


	11. Teacups

_3 months. You have every right to hate me. Bit of a non-moving chapter... D: Dearest apologies, but let's leave excuses and dawdling to the end. We have a story to continue, my friends. FIRST...a summary of what has happened so far for those of you who are like me and can't remember anything that has happened in a story after more than a day has passed since its last update._

_**~Previously in Forgotten**: Kaoru's slowly losing his mind, encountering reminders of a past he can't actually recall and faced with a hallucination that's haunting him with emotions he can't understand. Meanwhile, Hikaru's stuck halfway across the world with a new friend called Himari, believing his brother dead; that is, until Himari returns to Japan for the summer holidays and accidentally bumps into the younger Hitachiin and Haruhi... Now, for the chance to destroy the lie once and for all; will Hikaru finally stop sulking in his corner and take action? _

* * *

><p><strong>~Teacups and the Sounds of Shattering Porcelain~<strong>

Himari stretched her arms around her sleeping brother's form, silently admiring the tiny patch of stars lighting the skies outside her small window. She could feel her breath gently rushing in and out, synchronised with her heart. Every few minutes, there would be a slight hitch, as she thought back. What if she had done the wrong thing? Haruhi had warned her not to mention Hikaru in front of Kaoru, but nothing had been said about telling _Hikaru_ anything. Even then…she sighed inwardly, scolding herself for being such an interfering person, but even so, it was too much to think about.

The way Kaoru had reacted upon the mention of Hikaru; it was as if Hikaru had never existed to him, not even a whisper or a mention, just another stranger in the world – he _hadn't_ reacted. And then, there was that Hikaru had said Kaoru was _dead_. Perhaps she'd interpreted it wrong? Maybe he had meant '_dead to me'_.

William growled in his sleep, his left hand weakly reaching out to paw at the wall. Himari tightened her arms around him and he quickly went back to dreaming.

_Something's wrong. _

Her eyes fell on a heavy ballpoint pen resting calmly nigh the edge of the study desk cramped with school papers and company reports alike. Himari saw those huge brown eyes so alike her own that she smiled gently, remembering the kind Haruhi, and _the advice she'd given._

'Kyouya-senpai…who's that?'Himari questioned aloud, the words slamming straight into her brother's head, and causing a ripple effect in his short soft hair.

_I have to find him, but without Kaoru finding out…how?_ _What have I done?_ By now, Hikaru would have seen the photograph, and Himari could not possibly guess what she had begun. With no idea of the relationship between these two boys, she had kicked the first domino, hard.

_Kaoru…is that really you?_

The photograph was etched in his mind, the familiar faces, and the unfamiliar realisation.

It had been seconds, since Hikaru had slumped to the floor, an expression of distress fixed permanently to his features. To Hikaru, it had been days, maybe even weeks, since the name _Kaoru_ had registered in his catatonic brain. In that time, the maids had already dashed forward in a fright with their high anxious bursts of 'Hikaru-sama!'

He stared blankly towards the opposite wall, some part of his mind registering the little intact mobile phone ruefully resting at the base of the polished white. Some instinct told him to _get up and get the phone_, but his body refused to follow the command. Pale, shaking fingers tightened beneath him and dragged him onto the nearest sofa. Distantly, he understood that he was being fussed over, and it set off a trigger to _be_ _annoyed_, but again, he felt dazed and merely slumped back, darkness engulfing him in its warm embrace. The last thing he saw was Kaoru's face frozen in the photograph, grinning up at him, as mysterious as Mona Lisa.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

The table edge suddenly seemed to be getting closer…_woah_… Kaoru flailed wildly, his hand reaching out to clutch at the polished wooden surface. Black spots clouded his vision and a pressing weight landed on his head, compressing him and stealing the breath from his body. He wanted to collapse on the floor, but the stiff posture of his arm leaning against the tea table forced him static. Kaoru closed his eyes, forcing air in and out, puffing his cheeks outwards until the throbbing in his temple ceased slightly and became a muffled drum beat.

Just as his elbow bent outwards and Kaoru fell forwards, a reassuring hand firmly held his shoulder. Whoever it was, steadied the dazed teenager and guided him towards the pink couch nearby where squealing clients shuffled over rapidly to make space. They could almost see the spirals in his eyes before he snapped to attention.

'Kao-chan, are you okay?' the soft worried voice of Hani-senpai was swallowed by the cotton in Kaoru's head, it registered very distantly. Kaoru stared at him blankly.

Then rapidly, sound returned like a traffic jam, all the noises slamming him back. Where were the brakes? Kaoru winced inwardly. He looked down, admiring the light glimmering in the gold of the small host's blonde hair before turning his head slowly to the hand still gently resting on his shoulder.

'Kyouya-senpai, what's wrong?' he asked, ridiculously huge owlish eyes returning.

'I should be asking that question, Kaoru,' the bespectacled dark lord of the Host Club frowned, 'do you need to be excused from Host Club today?'

Kaoru smiled wryly, it was so un-Kyouya to even _consider _letting a host off for the day let alone actually proposition the idea, that it made Kaoru feel like he had just stabbed himself with a knife and needed serious treatment, rather than suffering from temporary minor fatigue.

'I'm fine, Kyouya-senpai. Don't worry, girls, I'm just a little sleepy that's all.' Kaoru yawned dramatically, and immediately, the signs of relief were fluttering onto the clients' pale faces.

Kyouya didn't seem so sure, but nonetheless, he stalked over to the King's side and sat down, back rigidly straight, and began scribbling notes in his legendary clipboard. Every few seconds, he snuck a glance towards the young Hitachiin, worried.

Kaoru wrapped his thin finger around the equally thin porcelain Worcester handle and tested the weight of the heavy teacup. It felt unnaturally full. As if sensing the eyes that were boring into his head from all around the room, he lifted the small cup, fighting the quiver that his hand could not help but exhibit. The warm brown tea shimmered as ripples formed on the surface, clashing with each other before sinking into silence; only the spiralling leaves beneath was any indication of true turmoil.

He sipped, allowing the tasteless concoction to be swallowed. Then he smiled, oh so perfectly.

It was too quiet, but he could think of nothing to say. The three young ladies sitting before him blinked in rapture, somehow caught by his silence. He glanced down into the teacup, chuckling as he wondered if it was poisoned.

Instead, he saw himself, and someone not quite himself.

The teacup fell to the tiles, and shattered.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

Dusk crept in, its red fingers slinking around, dashing into the smallest crevices, dominating the large expansive room. Hikaru mumbled something in his sleep; a garbled jumble of truth and dreams. He shied away beneath the covers, until the fiery evening light graced none but his burning devilish locks, like a flame on the silky sheets. His face was ashen, hidden in the shadows, and lonely. No matter how hard the sun tried in its last attempts to reach him through the glass, no amount of dodging curtains or blankets could allow it to lay a flush upon his white angelic space. How it wanted to, though.

Hikaru shifted, sticking a hand out from under the blankets, resting peacefully on the edge of the covers. Shadows danced around the room as the sun sank away, creating a translucent copy of him, lying stretched out beside his form, as close as a twin, but further away than reality.

Their hands were touching, but Hikaru knew better than to believe the fantasy. It was too late to believe in fantasy. Reality was just around the corner.

Hikaru gripped the corner of his blanket with both hands, tossing onto his right side and facing the blank opposite wall with a frustrated expression wrinkling the small space between his eyebrows. Behind him, he could sense the barely-injured phone frowning at his back, still recovering from its earlier accident.

'Could it be true?' he demanded of thin air.

The clock replied monotonously with a quiet tick. It could have been a joke, Hikaru reasoned, an immensely sick joke. But even that was improbable. Himari was a well-mannered kind-hearted girl, and even Hikaru knew that he was grasping invisible non-existent straws.

Hikaru sighed, listening as his breath echoed in the large empty room.

He reached for the phone atop his bedside table. The exterior plastic was cold to the touch. For a moment, Hikaru hesitated, unsure if he was placing himself in the firing range of humiliation; what if it really was just a prank? He flipped open the screen, squinting as his eyes slowly adjusted to the small bright display, and began to type.

* * *

><p><em>~OvO~<em>

The fax machine beeped informatively, a small LED light blinking in the gloomy, sterile atmosphere of the office. An unimposing figure sat at the desk, his back perfectly straight, with a troubled frown across his features.

_Both of them are starting to realise_… _just how much longer will this last before it all falls apart?_

Complicated diagrams of hardware components were neatly stacked in their sub-categories on the desk, sorted into their respective piles and labelled. Instead of focusing on these, the man found himself dwelling on a photograph. A photograph of two boys, dated back ten years.

There came a light knocking at the door, and quickly, the man slid the photograph into a desk drawer, carefully tucking it beneath a heavy filed report, away from curious eyes.

_How much longer?_

**~OvO~**

* * *

><p><em>AN: *bows head in shame* I'm sorry to have prioritised my school work over you guys. :( I was very happy every time a notification showed up in my email telling me someone else liked my story. At the same time very guilty for not updating. Thanks to _Ray-Kat-Hollows, AKB 4evr, Noa Nee, Broken Obscurity, PrevalentMasters, Kaoru Iwakura, SageStormAshes, unbesiegt _and _yuffie111 _for making me feel better whilst i was fighting that brick wall of a writer's block!_ :)

Noa Nee_, I get what you're thinking definitely, but I've always thought of the parents has "having the best intentions in mind". And it might cause a lot of problems if we have two raging twins xD one's bad enough, don't you think? _

_GAH it's been almost exactly 3 months! if i'd published tomorrow it would be 3 months D: I'm really sorry everyone :( but school is starting soon, and I promised myself I'd have Chapter 11 up before term started, but it seems my brain is loving chemistry and biology right now and hating on English. We've been doing Modernism, and to anyone who noticed a bit of objective correlative in this chapter...bravo. I'm serious. This chapter was a mash-up of two drafts (out of five) so it might have been a bit choppy... _

_I can't guarantee I will be able to publish again any time soon. I know how I want this story to end, but I'm not quite sure how to get there yet. _

_But I hope you enjoyed this one! :) Please review and lend me your ideas, or your comments, or your critique, or anything really, even a bit of flame. My beta's got an idea up her sleeve that is turning out to be impossible to write... thanks _Vaneffle..._ also thanks to_ xxxMaliceandMiseryxxx _even though this chapter is so late in coming you should kill me too D:_

_Oh yes. Disclaimer: Bisco Hatori owns Ouran and everything within that dome of awesome. _

_Has everyone seen The Hunger Games? I haven't. Bit miserable over that. _


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